Friday, February 28, 2014

SNAP!

So I am now being called a snapping turtle. I think these names that I have been given are getting a little bit ridiculous. A few weeks ago, I was a bed bug. For the longest time, I have been a rat… !@##$%%*. We all know that this is just unfair! Do I deserve these names? Maybe there is some truth to those names, but I think they should only be used in private so as not to tarnish my reputation in the blogging world. So this newest name came when I was being offered a piece of turkey at my Mom’s work the other day. My Mom actually warned the nice girl who giving me the turkey that I am a snapping turtle. I really don’t know what she means. Turtles are big and slow. I am small and fast! I take food gently and delicately. I am the portrait of decorum and manners. Maybe she should call me the gentleman Chihuahua. That would be more accurate! She could call me GC for short. I could even start a magazine called GC. I would be on the cover ALL of the time wearing a suit and tie and slowly eating something tasty! YUM YUM, not SNAP SNAP!

Chuck

Little Snapper in Denial

Snapping Turtles don't have fur, so there,
I think that proves that I am not one.

I can see how this could look incriminating…but notice how cute I am.


Friday, February 21, 2014

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

 Whatever that means, I don’t have any patience. I am afraid that I was not given any patience when gifted with my Chihuahua jeans. Not the jeans that you wear, but those other ones. Anyway, I think I have some gifts that I was born with, like being able to sniff out a treat from a mile away or eating my food faster than you can put it in my dish. I can also run away from trouble like a very small greyhound. It is more like running away from being in trouble, but you know what I mean. I know none of these things have anything to do with patience so I will try to get back on topic. Patience means that you can wait for stuff. Yeah, I can’t wait for anything. When it is time for dinner, I want it now. When it is time for my treat ball, I want it earlier than now. I go to the closet to let my Mom know that I am ready for her to open the door. I am then forced to wait until she can manage to make her way over to the closet and get my ball. This is like torture for me having to wait. Doesn’t she know this? You would think that with all of the impatient cues I give her that she would get a clue. It should be somewhere in the Chihuahua manual and I will just have to get her to read it! I am pretty sure it was on the bestseller list for a really long time! Really Mom, look it up!

Chuck
I’m Patient

(Impatient!)
Look at me…why wouldn't you do exactly what I ask?
I mean look at me…totally irresistible, right?
I can smell it….pleeeease open the door
Maybe if I just claw a whole in the carpet,
 then Mom will know how serious I am.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I HEART CHUCK

The day of love, the day of romance and the day of 'someone better take me out to dinner'! I have heard rumors that I am not allowed to have chocolate so I guess a box of those won’t be happening this Valentines Day or any other. You know there must be a heart shaped box of Pupperoni or biscuits. I am just giving you some little hints so that you can give me what I want for Valentines Day! I suppose this will not be a holiday just about me because there is that whole romance factor involved which means more than one individual. I am willing to share this holiday with all of you in exchange for those aforementioned gifts. I promise to pace myself while eating my gifts so don’t be stingy!
Oh and if you have some time and money left over, you should maybe do something for someone that you love. See, I can be unselfish for short periods of time!
Have a Happy Valentines Day!

Chuck

Chihuahua Cupid
I borrowed my sister's sweater 'cus it's pink and all Valentiney…
I think I'm man enough to handle it.

Friday, February 7, 2014

IT’S ALL MY FAULT

So the big day came for the Super Bowl. I ate a nice big breakfast knowing that the game didn’t start until later. I was ready……then I fell asleep. I was dreaming of potato chips and beer and a Chihuahua sized football being thrown to me in the end zone, me catching it and the crowd going wild. It was a lovely dream. When I woke up, the game was over and the Broncos had lost by A LOT. There I was naked in my bed, knowing that I caused this horrible upset because I wasn’t wearing my Bronco’s outfit. How can Mr. Manning possibly win a game without my devoted clothing support? He can’t, that’s how. It is because of my 10 to 14 hour nap that the game ended as it did. If I would have just thrown on my jersey before I closed my eyes, those Seahawks would be flying out to sea if you know what I mean. I do think someone else is to blame for not having me flown in a private Chihuahua jet (with snacks on board) to the game to make sure that something like this didn’t happen. I could have been on stage with the newly named Red Hot Chucky Peppers! I could have been eating Bruno Mars Candy Bars! Sometimes life just isn’t fair, even for me as spoiled as I am. This should be a humbling experience but I doubt it will be. It would take something really big to make me humble.

Chuck

Super Bowl Snoozer
                                          
I liked my dream way better than the game…I missed.