Friday, April 28, 2017

INDECISION

HERE I AM OUTSIDE WITH A LITTLE PARKA THAT DOESN'T COVER MY FEET!

What the ham is going on? Isn’t this time for flowers and green grass and me running naked and free through them all? Oh no, it is time for snow! (that rhymed, did you notice?) Anyway, my big dog friends are like…..shed, don’t shed, yeah shed, no, no shedding. Their fur doesn’t know if it is spring or winter and the trees feel the same way. I personally don’t worry about the shedding thing because I don’t have much to shed. My daytime temperature of “under the blanket” keeps me at an even 70 degrees.  Let’s just move on to barbeques on the patio and nice warm evenings of hanging out with a little brewsky and a large ham sandwich. Now I am depressed because the ice surrounding the patio means none of the above will happen anytime soon. Whoever is on weather detail needs to fix this. Call me when you have done your job. I will be under my blanket until everything thaws out. 

CHUCK
WHY ARE WE STILL OUT HERE?
Weather related depression survivor

Friday, April 21, 2017

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME

THERE IS NO FOOD INSIDE OF THIS GLOVE.. I ALREADY CHECKED
No it isn’t just a song. I really mean it. I want you to take me to a ball game where I can meet the hot dog guy in person. I want to be able to run under people’s feet in the stands and catch all of the stuff they drop. I am totally a ham guy, but some potato chips, popcorn and peanuts would round out my diet nicely! The occasional sip of beer might be fun and I don’t have to drive so no problem. Just watching my Dad at home get all excited about a bunch of guys hitting a ball and running after it, makes me want to be a part of it all. Of course, it is very dog-like to chase a ball, but I don’t blame people for wanting to be more like dogs. I personally like to chase food. I believe the outcome is more beneficial to me than catching some dumb ball. Anyway, I am ready for my first ball game so let me know when you will be picking me up. I will bring the sunscreen and my hearty appetite!!!

CHUCK
Hey, Batter Batter….drop some food!

Friday, April 14, 2017

DON'T PUT ALL OF YOUR DOGS IN ONE BASKET

HEY...THIS BASKET IS EMPTY- WHERE'S MY STUFF?
Easter is here again and I can already hear the thumping footsteps of my giant Easter Bunny friend. I look forward to his visit each year because it means treats for me. My Easter basket should contain the following things.… Ham, ham eggs, ham covered candy bunny, ham pancakes, ham hard boiled eggs with pastel colors and pretty much anything else with ham. I will be sitting in an Easter basket waiting for the treat bringing bunny and I hope there will be some ham left over for you. Actually, I would prefer you not get any of the ham, but it sounds selfish if I say that out loud. This Easter holiday should be shared with your dog friends. Get them a big basket to sit in and be sure to fill it with lots of things that they love. There might not be any ham left so think of something else you could get like turkey or roast beef. Don’t be stingy with the treats. It is a holiday after all.

Chuck

Putting all of his ham in one basket!

Friday, April 7, 2017

MUD WRESTLER?

DO YOU THINK THESE BOOTS WILL FIT ME? MAYBE I COULD JUST CRAWL INSIDE ONE OF THEM?
DO I HAVE MUD ON MY HEAD? I COULD BE A CHIHUAHUA DALMATION...
This is not my favorite time of the year when it is sloppy, yucky and muddy outside. I run out to do my business and I am slopping through the mud without any boots. Are you kidding? I need some little dog boots that have Gortex. (I don’t really know what that is but it sounds waterproof) If I were a little pig I might like the mud, though some may call me a pig, it is not for this reason. I think that the idea of mud wrestling is silly and I don’t see the point. I get a little bit of mud on my feet and I am unable to walk anymore and my Mom has to come and pick me up. Don’t even get me started on the way the mud tries to capture me and suck me into the ground. Super Scary! Stay away from the mud! This is a warning from me to you knowing that you hang on my every word and always take my advice. 

CHUCK
Muddy Buddy