Friday, May 20, 2016

DEAR MOTHER NATURE

Ok, we have had this discussion and I don’t understand why the situation has not been rectified. First we had the never ending snow and now we have the annoying rain. You cannot expect me to go potty outside when there are drips and splashes and puddles that could swallow me up. I understand that the kitchen is not my personal bathroom, but until the outdoor facilities are upgraded, I can’t be responsible for where my poop ends up. Last year we had too much rain and we ended up with a river flowing through the back yard. Again, I am not comfortable being in a compromising position (pooping) and accidentally falling into the raging river. It is also demeaning to dogs to pee on something that is already wet. We need to make our mark, to claim the spot and to show off our perfect aim. You can’t do that when you can’t even see where you peed. I am just pointing out the obvious here. This needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Someone needs to talk to upper management and have my above concerns addressed.


Sincerely,

CHUCK
I AM READY FOR THE FLOOD WITH MY MULTIPLE FLOTATION DEVICES
AND THE RUBBER DUCKIES JUST MAKE ME LOOK GOOD!

Friday, May 13, 2016

PARDON ME....

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TABLE MANNERS, NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD!
The other night, my Mom came to retrieve me from my pantry. I had just finished my scrumptious meal of ham, vegetables and chicken noodle baby food. YUM! I licked the dish until it was spotless and then I licked it some more. When my Mom picked me up, I let out a monstrous burp. The walls rattled the windows shook and I am pretty sure all of the big dogs stopped whatever they were doing to stare at me. It was a really big burp. I have heard that in some countries it is a compliment to the chef to burp after the meal, so my compliments to the chef! I think everyone was surprised that the loud noise came out of little me. Honestly I was a little bit surprised myself. I am not going to make it a habit, but it was a one time anomaly that earned me some respect from my fellow four legged friends. I think they are hoping to someday let out a burp like mine. Now they have one more reason to be jealous of me. I am ok with that! I wonder if I should start farting more often? Hmmmmm

CHUCK

Mr. Table Manners

Thursday, May 5, 2016

CINCO DE CHUCKO

A few months ago I became an Irish Chihuahua but now that Cinco De Mayo is here, I am reverting back to my Mexican heritage. It is such a fun holiday while we share the festivities with all! I can even share it with dogs that aren’t my breed, even the ones that might try to eat me. I am not afraid on this festive day because we will be celebrating with chips and beer and all kinds of fun stuff that I am not supposed to have. I just want to take a moment to share with you the true meaning of Cinco De Mayo. It has a long history of importance, but the true meaning is 5 slices of ham with Mayo on a sandwich. Now you know why it is such a big day for me. This sandwich stands for all that I want out of my little dog life. I just wish that every day was my sandwich holiday. Enjoy it!

CHUCK
Mexican Dictionary of Holidays Expert

 
SO MY MOM TRIED TO GET A PICTURE OF ME WITH AN ALREADY MADE  SANDWICH
AND AS YOU CAN GUESS, IT DIDN'T WORK OUT VERY WELL.
I DID GET A COUPLE OF GOOD BITES BEFORE IT WAS SNATCHED AWAY :)

Friday, April 29, 2016

CONSPIRACY THEORIES

THIS PICTURE BY ITSELF IS NOT INCRIMINATING, BUT LOOK AT THE NEXT ONE......
Sometimes when I am sleeping, my blanket scoots down and I end up on the floor. How could that possibly happen? I have this super comfy bed and I deserve the best in sleeping arrangements, but as long as I am under my blanket, it seems that I am ok sleeping on the hard floor. Once I am on the floor, the girls lay on top of me. I guess that is their idea of a comfy bed. This sleeping arrangement is not to my liking. I get a little bit snarky and tell them to GET OFF ME (unless it is cold outside then the annoying girls keep me warm) Anyway, I think that I need a flatter bed so that I don’t slide off. Sleeping on the floor just isn’t right. Maybe I could have a bed all to myself and the slippage won’t happen. Maybe the girls are the ones who are actually pushing me off the bed while I am sleeping. These are my theories, but I have no proof. Maybe I could set up a little video surveillance and see what is really going on. Or maybe not….what if the video just shows Lacey licking herself and Cayenne barfing or something. YUK- Some things are better if you just leave them alone. I kind of like the floor.

CHUCK

Sleep Detective
AHAAAA.....THAT LOOKS PRETTY SUSPICIOUS TO ME!

Friday, April 22, 2016

CORRECTION OF PREVIOUS BLOG...

I might have made a mistake when I was so excited about spring and the fun things that come with it. If I was talking about blowing snow and hideous weather, I would have been right, but I was instead referring to flowers, green grass and baby bunnies. None of that has happened yet and I am a little bit disappointed. Last weekend, I huddled under my blanket while both the girls slept right on top of me. I didn’t even snark at them because they were keeping me warm. It is like my very own electric blanket that occasionally coughs, snorts or sneezes. I am a little depressed by the snow that keeps showing up and the wind that comes with it. I try to go outside, but my little under parts get way to close to that cold wet snow and I have no choice but to run inside, pee in the kitchen and blame it on Lacey. It isn’t my fault. If the weather were nicer, I would be a good dog. So I am done with spring. I now want summer and I want it now.

CHUCK

Summer Lovin’
SEE, I AM READY FOR THE SUNSHINE AND MAYBE A COLD LITTLE BEER!

Friday, April 15, 2016

TAX TIME?

TO ANYONE WHO TRIES TO TAKE MY MONEY.......
What does this mean? Are there any taxes little dogs like me must pay and if so how would I know about them. Am I going to be audited or shamed into showing my financial history to some stranger? Oh wait… I don’t have a financial history. Even if I did, I don’t think I want someone poking around in my business. Do I get to deduct ham as a medical expense since it is crucial to my health and well being? Maybe I could deduct all of the silly outfits my Mom makes me wear. These are the same outfits that my Dad wishes I wouldn’t wear. Do I already pay taxes and if so, where do I get the money? Do Chihuahuas even need money? If I did have some money, I think I would buy myself a little house where I am the only dog. Is that a write off as a mental health deduction? I think that I am figuring out this tax thing. If I don’t have any money, I can’t pay taxes. If I do have money, I won’t tell anyone about it! If the stranger comes to audit me, I will know that one of you squealed on me!

CHUCK

Small Tax Man

MAYBE YOU CAN HAVE MY MONEY, IT DOESN'T TASTE VERY GOOD.
DOES IT COME IN HAM FLAVOR?

Friday, April 8, 2016

SPRING IS HERE!

There are so many reasons that I am excited about spring. Everyone gets friskier in the animal world. I am not sure it is the same for people, but we furry critters get all spunky and wild when the weather starts to change. Take me for instance: I am now sleeping 22 hours instead of my normal 23. I wake up a little bit more cheerful. I only growl at my Mom once instead of twice. I feel a renewed sense of playfulness with my fellow dog mates. I want to run underneath the big dogs and see if they notice me. This could be a possible death wish, but I see it more as spring motivated play. I also want to eat more lettuce, carrots and cool summer foods. I do still want these foods wrapped in ham or covered in ham or a ham appetizer before I eat them, but I am ready to add some variety to my food. These are just a few examples of Chihuahua spring fever. What signs are you seeing? Do you want to play more with your friends and family? Do you see yourself retrieving a ball just because you can? If you think about it, I am sure that you can come up with some people spring friskiness and spread it around to everyone you know. Pretty soon everyone will have a craving for a carrot wrapped in ham. You just wait and see!

CHUCK

Spring Loaded
HERE I AM HAVING DISCARDED MY WINTER COAT
FOR MY MORE SPORTY SPRING JACKET!