Friday, June 24, 2016

NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE.....

THIS IS JUST WRONG!!!
Dogs are not the best at keeping track of time, so I don’t know exactly when it was, but I told you about the girls pushing me onto the floor while I am sleeping. Since that blog, things have gotten even worse if you can imagine that. I am now being pushed out of my blanket and left sitting on the floor. I look up and my spot has been taken. This is extreme abuse and I don’t think that I should have to put up with it. Those girls don’t write a blog. They don’t have fans like I do. They don’t even like having their pictures taken. I am the photogenic, famous, charming, intelligent, and handsome Chihuahua who deserves the spoils in life. I can’t be treated like an outcast or a dog with no value. I am valuable don’t you think? I guess I am going to have to get a little mean and nasty with the sneaky girls. I think a little snarling and showing of teeth goes a long way and I don’t want anyone to think that I am a push over or a doggie doormat. The message here is “Don’t mess with Chuck!”  Please pass it around to your friends so that my fierce reputation is known world wide! Thank you for your support and let’s see if that blanket can stay on the bed with me underneath it eh?

CHUCK

Mean, Mean Chuckie!
THIS IS THE AERIAL VIEW OF MY MISTREATMENT!
 (If you say it twice it has more impact!)

Friday, June 17, 2016

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

I am going to take this opportunity to talk about my Dad. He isn’t a dog you know, but my human dog Dad. I really don’t remember my dog dad so I can only discuss things that I know about. I am pretty sure that my Dad wasn’t a little dog fan before I came into his life. I eavesdrop on my parents sometimes and over the years I have heard things that my Dad has said like “Who would have thought I would love the Chihuahuas so much.” or “Chuck is the best dog in the whole world!” OK so I didn’t really overhear the second one, but I bet he thinks that. My Dad is pretty cool and he will come and cover me up when I am exposed. You know when my blanket slips off of me and stuff like that. He feeds me and gives me head scratches and enjoys my company during the World Cup. I know he is a busy guy, but he always talks to me in a kind loving voice. Well most of the time, but his voice isn’t quite as kind when I escape and run out the back door and won’t come back when he calls, but that doesn’t happen often. Besides he is only doing that for show so that the other dogs don’t know that I am his favorite. I am pretty sure that is the only reason he would ever yell at me. Anyway, for Father’s Day, don’t escape and come when your Dad calls you and you should have a pleasant day that is free of any yelling! Whatever you do, don’t bite your Dad on this most special of days. That won’t go over well at all.

CHUCK

Daddy’s boy!
HERE I AM WITH MY DAD....I MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE AGAIN, I AM NOT SURE?

Thursday, June 9, 2016

FRUIT FRENZY


Summer is special in so many ways. Some of you are just excited that it isn’t snowing! (I know, me too) Others are thrilled to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Many dogs get to go on more hikes, go swimming or just enjoy fun outdoor dog stuff. I must say that all of theses things are appealing to me and they get me a little bit excited too, but the most important thing about summer to this Chihuahua is the over abundance of fruit. Yes, I said fruit. Many of you remember that when I was a baby, someone said I looked like a fruit bat! I know it is a horrible thing to say to a little dog who isn’t very confident and who maybe has a huge head, but anyway it was out there and I haven’t ever gotten over it. However this year, as summer approaches, I think I might be ok being a fruit bat. It means that I get unlimited fruit and I can fly! Those are good things right? So now that I have overcome my puppy hood issues, I am ready to dig into some watermelon! Just open that baby up and I will make my own little fruit salad!

CHUCK
Flying Fruit Bat
IT'S THE EARS RIGHT?

BABY FRUIT BAT! LOOKING FOR FRUIT.....

Friday, June 3, 2016

NAIL BITER

I know you are thinking that since the weather is warmer “all should be good in Chuck’s world.” Well that isn’t the way that things go sometimes. Even though the weather is warmer, I still make sure that I am snuggled up in my blanket. You see it isn’t always about warmth. Sometimes life makes you need an emotional blanket just to keep the stress at bay. You are now thinking “what does Chuck have to be stressed about?” Excellent question and I will share with you my high drama stress story of the week. My Mom has this stupid idea that I need my nails clipped. I think they are just fine the way they are. If they get too long I just look more like a hairless cat. I am ok with that if I can avoid having anyone touch my sensitive toes. If you remember, the last time my Mom did my nails, I bit her in the chin. Well I will never hear the end of that. I guess it left a mark and you know that is never good. It was a big mistake I admit, but I can’t be blamed for any violent behavior if you are touching my toes! This time she put that thing around my nose and my biter didn’t work anymore. Who invented this thing anyway? I couldn’t get it off so I just squealed as much as possible while she was abusing my toes. I also thrashed around a lot just for effect. So you see, I then needed to hide under my blanket for 2 or 3 days just so I could recover from the horrible experience. So I am encouraging you as I have in the past to climb under your blanket when someone tries to cut your toenails or anything else stressful for that matter. It works no matter what your issue might be. Maybe I should get some little tennis shoes so that my Mom can’t see my toenails. Do they make Nikes in Chuck sizes?

CHUCK

Blanket of Protection
I DON'T EVEN LOOK STRESSED. ONCE UNDER MY BLANKET, ALL IS GOOD!

Friday, May 27, 2016

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

Another holiday is here that marks the beginning of summer. Summer in the hungry Chihuahua world equates to barbeques and frequent gatherings of food in outdoor venues. This means that stuff falls on the ground and I am required to snatch it up before any birds, mice or any other pesky food stealers try to get it.  Memorial Day is a special holiday for many reasons, but anyone who knows me well knows that I am not focused on the meaning of the holiday. My interest is strictly limited to the celebration of the holiday. Please be ready to take notes as I give you a list of things that you will need to purchase in order to enjoy the holiday properly. First on my list is HAM. There can be no celebration without it. Second - potato chips. these are like ham’s friends that like to be included in any ham presentation. Third is beer. Beer is needed to wash down the ham and chips. Fourth is a table that sits very low to the ground. This will allow your furry home dwellers to peruse the buffet when you aren’t looking. Fifth is friends and family to share all of the above. (I just added #5 to make myself sound like I care) I hope that you enjoy the entire holiday weekend. Please don’t forget the list and while you are at the grocery story, could you pick me up some ham and anything else you think I might need.
Thank you.

CHUCK
HCB Promotions

(ham, chips and beer)
WAS MUSTARD ON MY LIST?

Friday, May 20, 2016

DEAR MOTHER NATURE

Ok, we have had this discussion and I don’t understand why the situation has not been rectified. First we had the never ending snow and now we have the annoying rain. You cannot expect me to go potty outside when there are drips and splashes and puddles that could swallow me up. I understand that the kitchen is not my personal bathroom, but until the outdoor facilities are upgraded, I can’t be responsible for where my poop ends up. Last year we had too much rain and we ended up with a river flowing through the back yard. Again, I am not comfortable being in a compromising position (pooping) and accidentally falling into the raging river. It is also demeaning to dogs to pee on something that is already wet. We need to make our mark, to claim the spot and to show off our perfect aim. You can’t do that when you can’t even see where you peed. I am just pointing out the obvious here. This needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Someone needs to talk to upper management and have my above concerns addressed.


Sincerely,

CHUCK
I AM READY FOR THE FLOOD WITH MY MULTIPLE FLOTATION DEVICES
AND THE RUBBER DUCKIES JUST MAKE ME LOOK GOOD!

Friday, May 13, 2016

PARDON ME....

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY TABLE MANNERS, NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD!
The other night, my Mom came to retrieve me from my pantry. I had just finished my scrumptious meal of ham, vegetables and chicken noodle baby food. YUM! I licked the dish until it was spotless and then I licked it some more. When my Mom picked me up, I let out a monstrous burp. The walls rattled the windows shook and I am pretty sure all of the big dogs stopped whatever they were doing to stare at me. It was a really big burp. I have heard that in some countries it is a compliment to the chef to burp after the meal, so my compliments to the chef! I think everyone was surprised that the loud noise came out of little me. Honestly I was a little bit surprised myself. I am not going to make it a habit, but it was a one time anomaly that earned me some respect from my fellow four legged friends. I think they are hoping to someday let out a burp like mine. Now they have one more reason to be jealous of me. I am ok with that! I wonder if I should start farting more often? Hmmmmm

CHUCK

Mr. Table Manners