Friday, September 21, 2018

WIPE OUT

SEE HOW I HAVE USED SOME CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY TO DISTRACT FROM MY BAD MOMENT!
Most of the time, I am a graceful and agile little guy and I pride myself on my ability to remain on all fours (kind of like a cat). The other night I was running toward my treat and I lost my footing and skidded on the floor like a sled on an icy slope. My feet went up in the air and down I went. It was not my finest moment and I am pretty sure I could hear the big dogs snickering in the background. Do you ever have those moments in life when you do something stupid and you wish no one were watching, but they are? It was impossible for me to get out of my skid gracefully, so I then acted like I was hurt so that everyone would feel sorry for me. This didn’t actually work so don’t try this yourself. This is a life lesson blog about embarrassment. Sometimes you just have to embrace feeling stupid and move on to your next moment of personal glory. I haven’t had my glory moment yet, but I am sure it is coming soon. There is not a photo of my bad moment so don’t ask for one!

CHUCK
Slick Slider

Friday, September 14, 2018

CHUCK SPICED LATTE

I AM GOING TO LICK THIS WHIP CREAM RIGHT OFF MY HEAD!!  I AM GOING TO GET THE CINNAMON SPRINKLES TOO! YUM!!!!
It is that time of year when everything is pumpkin spice. You have coffee, cookies, pancake mix, coffee creamer, yogurt, cupcakes, breads and even pumpkin beer. Surely, they will come up with pumpkin spice ham. Each year I wait for the big announcement so that I can run out and buy me some PS HAM. I think the response from the ham loving public would be amazing. I am also wondering about some pumpkin spice dog food. The spice trend should include pets as well as people since we are consumers too. I am more than happy to share my food expertise and knowledge with any company needing some ideas on how to spice up their food. Of course, I will continue to eat my ham as is, but I would like a chance to come up with the next ham trend. My calendar is fairly open right now, so I will await the requests for my services to come pouring in. If I am napping, I will call you back when I get up. 

CHUCK
Spicy!

Friday, September 7, 2018

TEXT BOOK INSTRUCTIONS

Before my blog was so rudely stolen last week, we were talking about Back to School time. I talked about lunches and stuff, but I didn’t get to share my book suggestions for the school year. These are must reads and will be required in all classes and in all schools. Don’t be left out. Get a jump on your homework and get started reading. 

CHUCK’S GUIDE TO MATHEMATICS:
Sample math problem 1 + 1 =HAM

ENGLISH 101 for Chihuahuas
Learn the language of the little dogs so you can communicate your displeasure with them when they are bad!

EVOLUTION OF THE CHIHUAHUA
This book explores how I got to be so stinkin’ spoiled.

THE SCIENCE AND EXPLORATION OF A HAM ONLY DIET
This book is not required reading, but will be gobbled up by fellow ham lovers.

CHIHUAHUAS FOR DUMMIES
Go ahead and read this one just to see what you are dumb about. Don’t worry, I had to read it too!

I KNOW....I LOOK REALLY SMART!!!!
I hope these suggestions will help you on your education journey. Please feel free to write book reports and send them directly to me with a small gift enclosed. I will grade them sometime in between my naps, sometime this month, or maybe a few months depending on how sleepy I am on any given day. 

CHUCK
Director of Education (not necessarily a good education)

Friday, August 31, 2018

BUCK EXPOSES CHUCK!

Hey would you mind picking me up and carrying me to my private dining area. Yeah right!
Hey, Buck here. In case you haven’t met me before, I am one of Chucks fellow dog house-mates. In fact, I was a rescue and am about a month younger than Chuck so we were puppies together and used to play a lot. Now, we don’t get much play time as Chuck just wants to bite my face. I am fairly patient with him, but it is a little bit irritating. In fact, I stole his blog this week just to share with you some inside information on our Mr. Popularity. One of my tidbits of scandal is just an expose of how spoiled he is. When the little dogs emerge from their sleeping quarters, Cayenne comes out barking like a wild banshee. I bark back and we pretend to go after each other. It is pretty noisy but really fun. She runs in the pen and all is quiet. Chuck is carried out to the pen. What is up with that? He is also carried in to his bedroom every night like a little hairless prince. I guess I should be grateful that he isn’t out loose cause he might take a chomp at me while running to his little pen. He also gets his own eating space. None of the rest of us get any privacy while eating, but because he is such a food hog, he has to be confined. If he came after my food, I might have to chomp him back. Anyway, I have to go because he is waking up now, but I will stop by again to give you some more Chuck tabloid news. 

BUCK
Filling in for Chuck

Friday, August 24, 2018

BACK TO LUNCH....I MEAN SCHOOL

I HOPE MY PENCILS DON'T POKE ME IN THE HEAD!
I ALSO THINK I MIGHT NEED A BIGGER LUNCH BOX!
It is BACK TO SCHOOL time and I must tell you how excited I am to go purchase my school supplies. I need some #1 pencils because I don’t want #2 ones. #1 is for sure better than #2! Plus, I will get some little notebooks that I can use for my drawings and maybe some math problems to solve. You know, the usual. I will also get a little backpack to put my stuff in, but the most important item of all will be my lunch box. This is the part that I am looking forward to the most! In fact, I think that my only class in school will be Advanced Lunch Packing. This is not a class for everyone, just for those who are super serious about their lunch! I already know how I am going to organize my lunch. In order of importance with ham being at the very top. I don’t want any juice or healthy stuff, just all of my favorites in one place. If you need help with your lunch, I am available for a small consulting fee.

CHUCK
Lunch Packer Extraordinaire!

Friday, August 17, 2018

THE BEST OF CHUCK

All famous artists usually do a BEST OF album or art collection so that people can enjoy that artist's stuff in a consolidated format. With that in mind, I have decided to do a BEST OF CHUCK that will feature some handsome photos of ME! I will have to do this often as ALL of my photos could be categorized as the BEST! Enjoy this little Chuck buffet of photos. (That whole buffet theme makes me hungry! How about you?)
 




 

Friday, August 10, 2018

IMPOLITENESS FROM A LITTLE DOG

I STICK MY TONGUE OUT A LOT! IS THAT A BAD THING?
I have heard some rumors and rumblings around my house that I am not very polite. I find this to be a false statement. I am super polite. I only burp after eating and I always say “excuse me”. I may gobble my food, but no one is watching and I don’t think you can be impolite when you are all by yourself. I don’t let anyone else get in front of me when I am running toward my food, but this is for their own protection. In that instance, I am actually being kind. If someone did get in front of me while I’m on a dead run, the results might be ugly with some snarling and biting so I am super nice to keep this from happening. I am also very forgiving when I have been wronged in some way. I only ignore my Mom for a few days after a nail trim. It could be a week or two, but I limit it to a few days because I am nice like that. Anyway, I think you get the picture. I am super polite most of the time, sometimes and sort of infrequently, but don’t make negative generalizations about this Chihuahua!

CHUCK
Polite Police Detainee