Friday, December 9, 2016

CHUCK RE-WRITES CHRISTMAS

I NEED A LITTLE FIRE IN THE STOVE HERE PLEASE.....

My Dad was listening to some Christmas songs the other night and I with my little creative mind decided that these songs should be re-visited and perhaps re-written. They didn’t mention me at all and I think that needs to be changed. For example:

My ham roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost better stay away from my nose (or I will bite him)
Yuletide carrots being eaten by me
Chihuahua’s romping where the Pupperoni grows

Don’t you think this version is more dog friendly? I know that you don’t actually grow Pupperoni, but who cares?
How about another classic favorite?

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout I am telling you why
Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town.

He’s making a list and checking it twice
Loves to eat his ham with rice
Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town

My little dog Christmas Carol album should be coming out sometime next year, just as soon as I get a producer, agent and someone to sing my merry tunes. I would sing them but it sounds more like a howl though it is pretty festive when combined with bells and other instruments.

CHUCK

Christmas Carol King

Friday, December 2, 2016

BLACK FRIDAY RECOVERY UPDATE

People are crazy! Who would have known that Black Friday is such a big deal? Even for a popular Chihuahua like myself, I was still trampled and abused! Who would have known that there would be such a rush at the Ham Store? Who should always be first in line? That is right… ME! I practically own stock in the ham business. I am now recovering from my Black Friday adventure and I have to tell you that next year I will be ordering online. That way the nice delivery person will bring my ham right to my door. We will all bark like crazy until the truck pulls away. Then I will have to find a way to escape from my pen, get outside and get my ham box open. I think that will be easier than dealing with the crowds! Next year, just stay home. Don’t go out there!!!!!

CHUCK

Former Black Friday Ham Shopper
IS MY BAND-AID STILL ON?
 

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

SORT OF UN-THANKFUL...

I had it all planned out….. this year I would be dressing up in a turkey outfit for my annual Thanksgiving Day blog. But no, my plans were ruined because the pet store didn’t have any turkey outfits as they have already moved on to Christmas. Slow down a little. Thanksgiving isn’t even over yet and Christmas has already taken over. Let’s enjoy our turkey and pie before we welcome Santa down our chimneys. (Santa can only come down my chimney if he is packing ham on his little sleigh) Anyway, I had to drag out my pilgrim outfit which just isn’t the same. I really wanted to be a turkey and I hope that you will still be my friends even though I am wearing “Vintage Pilgrim” instead. I would also like to dress up as a pie, but I am afraid that someone might try to eat me. I guess I should be thankful for my blessings blah blah blah, but next year I will buy my turkey outfit around the 4th of July which should be good timing right?

CHUCK

Not a turkey 
DO I  LOOK LIKE A TURKEY?
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS NO!

Friday, November 18, 2016

THE GREAT HUNTER

MY HUNTING SUCCESS!!!!
I have heard that hunting season is upon us and I am not sure what that means since I rarely have to hunt for my ham, but I decided that I should participate in this event because I think that I could be a fierce Chihuahua hunter. My first hunt involved me scavenging the closet for little pieces of dog food. That wasn’t very fun so I moved on to hunting the big dogs. They were not amused. I then decided to hunt for my Mom’s feet which turned out to be downright dangerous. I was feeling a little depressed about my hunting skills until my Mom brought out the floppy fox. Now this was something I could actually hunt, catch and shake around. I felt such a sense of power over the fox that I kept making it squeak as if it were begging for my mercy. Poor fox never had a chance. I got it just where I wanted it and then Cayenne stole it from me. I am now done with my hunting phase so I went and crawled back under my blanket where it is safe and I will just wait for my food to come to me willingly.


CHUCK

Great Stuffed Toy Hunter

SOMETIMES LIFE IS NOT VERY FAIR!

Friday, November 11, 2016

CHUCK FOR PRESIDENT

I COULD HARDLY STAND THE SUSPENSE!
DID I WIN ANYTHING?
I waited impatiently for the results to come in. My chance to be President was within reach, however the system was rigged by the anti- ham lobbyists who were worried about my love for ham. They knew that if I were in power, I would make ham the most important food in the country and I would be the ham enthusiast that they feared. Anyway, I guess I didn’t win anything. Maybe next time around I will get more Chihuahua votes. I think many of them had to stay home because they are little. The big dogs won’t vote for me because they see me as a threat and the middle size dogs aren’t interested in voting because they are too busy being stuck in the middle. These are just my political theories and they really aren’t based on anything but my love for ham. I know that my loyal blog followers would vote for me and that is all I care about…..oh and ham, I care about that too.

CHUCK 
Uninformed Political Chihuahua

Friday, November 4, 2016

BRAVE EXPLORER?

As most of you know, I eat my breakfast and dinner in the pantry. I like this seating arrangement because I have privacy while I eat. When I am done, I get to check out the other stuff in the pantry. Sometimes I find little morsels of dog biscuit crumbs (good find) other times I just climb on stuff and root around for the fun of it. I like to climb on the vacuum cleaner because it makes me feel taller and I like to freak out my Dad when he comes to retrieve me and he can’t find me. That is pretty funny. I am small so I hide really well and my Dad thinks that I have somehow escaped without him knowing. (he he he) Anyway, I just wanted to share my pantry adventures with you so that you know what a brat I am. Most of you know this, but just bringing the point home.

CHUCK

Pantry Pest
DO I LOOK TALLER TO YOU?

Friday, October 28, 2016

LAND SHARK?

SURELY THERE IS A TREAT FOR MAKING ME WEAR THIS!
This year I am taking a leap or maybe a swim with my Halloween costume. It is completely an opposite thing for me to be. I am a loving little sweet Chihuahua who would never be considered a “land shark”. For those of you who don’t know, a land shark is a frequent reference to little dogs that bite a lot or who are on the super snarky list of little dogs. This, of course, is nothing like me. It would be the same comparison if you dressed up a Rottweiler in a bunny costume, a Poodle in a military costume or a Great Dane in a mouse costume. You see where I am going here right? These costumes are for fun and are not any kind of indication of who we are as dogs. So this year as you are dressing up your little furry friends, remember you can stretch your imagination and put them in a costume that is just cute or fun, but doesn’t attach itself to your dog’s true personality!

CHUCK
GRRR.... I WILL BITE YOU!
Undercover Land Shark
Land Shark in Denial
Swims With The Land Sharks

YOU PICK!


THIS IS ME SNEAKING UP ON MY HAM!