Thursday, September 18, 2014

BIG BONE APPETITE

It has been requested that I share some of my culinary secrets with my blog fans. Normally, I would say no, but my blog fans deserve the very best. In this case, it is my recipes of favorite Chihuahua cuisine. You will even be able to use some of these even if you don’t have a Chihuahua. My recipes do not discriminate and can be used for pooches of all persuasions. You might even be tempted to try some yourself. It’s ok don’t be shy about it. We all have a little “Chuck” in us when it comes to food. I am just proud to be your inspiration for good eating!


Our first furry delicacy is called “Mac and Chuck” This contains a BIG bowl of cooked macaroni noodles and cheese sprinkled shamelessly with salmon cat food. I know…the cat food is stolen, but it adds just the right flavor to this twisted classic.

Our next muttley menu item is called “Chicken Chuck Pie” This feast contains your basic little Chihuahua size piecrust, filled with veggies of all varieties, roasted chicken with Milk Bone dog biscuits arranged on top of the crust for a lovely presentation. (The presentation will not last long once the dish has been served so enjoy looking at it while you can!)
Just to keep you drooling, I will share one more of my favorites before I end this blog. I always want to leave you wanting more. Kind of like how I feel after dinner.

Last, but not least there is my favorite straight from the homeland….”Chuck’s Tiny Taquitos” This tasty appetizer contains little rolled up mini tacos filled with a dazzling display of meats and whatever else you want to throw in there. Just roll them up, put them in the oven and add a little bit of hot sauce and you will feel like you are in a bar in Mexico. Beer is optional. 16 taquitos will serve 16 of your favorite small dogs or 2 Pit Bulls.
I hope you enjoy a little you and ME time in the kitchen!

CHUCK DU JOUR

Silence my captivated audience. Get ready to be schooled…
First, get up on the counter. You may need assistance with this step. 
I recommend the yappy, yappy, jump, jump and circle, circle, repeat.



Friday, September 12, 2014

PLEASE PULL OVER

 Now that I am over my depression, I am once again thinking about my career. It is great being a blogger, but I think that I need to do something else to serve the public, something selfless and generous. Yes I am thinking of becoming a police officer. Think of all of the good that I could do for my friends and neighbors. I could wear a small little bulletproof vest with little handcuffs and a very small little dog gun. I could get one of those little dog police cars with flashing lights and a siren that barks a warning that I am on your tail! Get it…tail? Anyway, instead of pulling someone over and asking for their license and registration, I could insist on them handing over any food items that they might have in their vehicle. If they say they don’t have any food, I could search their car myself with my food attuned nose and write them a ticket if I come up empty. If there is something tasty of interest to me, I will let them go on their way. I would also frequent the donut shops and would be welcomed with free donuts for my excellent service. I am not sure where a badge would fit in, so maybe I would have to be undercover. I do spend a lot of time under my blanket, so I do have experience in that area. I could even get my own K-9 officer to assist me with the big busts, like a really big ham or a pizza or something that I might not be able to handle by myself. It is all about teamwork when you are on the force. I would have to be in charge though and get my slice of the pizza first. I think that would only be fair.

OFFICER CHUCK
Lead Detective
Food Investigator
State Pooper
 
This uniform is really impairing my ability to frisk my suspects.
 Let me tell you, I've found way more than your everyday breath mints, if you know what I mean.


Friday, September 5, 2014

DOGGIE DOWNER

I know that no one wants to talk about it and we all pretend that it isn’t happening in our homes, but it is. It is dog depression and it is nothing to be ashamed about. It is something that our furry kind experience from time to time. The causes range from a lack of toys to a missed meal or a missed treat. It can also be attributed to lack of attention or just not enough snuggles. Before you beat yourself up about not paying enough attention to your dog, just know that it can be cured quickly with a special snack or a new toy. We will soon forget why we were depressed in the first place. I have chosen to discuss this since I am suffering from the Chihuahua version of depression right now. Mine has been caused by the departure of our houseguests and their small squealing baby. (If you don’t know what I am talking about, please refer to last week’s blog.) I know I should be happy to have my house back, but it was kind of fun having all of that activity and new people to actually watch me misbehave. It gets kind of boring with my parents because they expect it, but new people are shocked and awed by my horrible behavior. They are also unable to withstand my begging tactics and frequently give me forbidden snacks. My Mom would just look at me and say “not a chance Chuck”, but the new people say “look how cute he is” as they are slipping me a snack. I think our houseguests should come back and stay with us until they figure me out, then we will have to find some new ones to take over. They can even bring back the LOOSE BABY who had more escapes then I did. He was super good about accidentally giving me stuff to eat. Sometimes I had to eat it off the floor or I had to try to lick it (not bite of course) off his chubby little fingers, but it was super tasty. See just talking about food has made me forget all about being depressed. I feel much better now thank you!

CHUCK

Mood Swinger
I should really get out of bed and find some food,
 this blanket is heavy…I haven't the strength.
I should set up a 'Save Chuck' food bank.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

OH BABY!

So my Mom is on vacation this week and usually that just means that she stays home and cleans a lot, but this time she brought in outsiders to stay at our house. I am sure you don’t know this about me, but I am a pretty fierce guard dog. I don’t bring it up much because I am so humble and I shy away from tooting my own horn (whatever that means. If I had a horn, I would probably eat it). So, when the people came in my house, I barked and growled and I am pretty sure they are scared! Anyway, with these people came a small version of a person. I am thinking that in the human species, this would be a Chihuahua. He is noisy, kind of smelly, a little spoiled and highly food motivated. Does this sound like anyone you know? Me either. I couldn’t really find any comparisons but he is very small. He tries to grab me and he makes these weird sounds and I am just a little bit creeped out by the whole thing. Why is he so small and what language is he speaking? Will he get bigger or just stay small like me. I used to think that I would get bigger, but the big dogs are still waaaaay bigger than me so I think I will be short for life. This little person also likes to crawl around on the floor. I think that part is kind of cool until he starts coming towards me- Yikes! I will keep you posted on the Chihuahua-person and let you know if indeed he is a friend or foe! If dropping food on the floor counts for anything, he has already become my sort of best friend if you know what I mean!

CHUCK

Babysitter

So what part of Mexico are you from…little Chihuahua person?
Is that a little mashed banana behind your ear? Hope you weren't saving that for later.
You know how I am about bananas my little Chiquita.

MMMmmm, vienna sausages…fingers, that is not what I expected kiddo…are you ok?
Please don't cry. It was an honest mistake. Stop crying...you tricked me, it's not my fault.

Friday, August 22, 2014

3 IS A CROWD!

As some of you know, I have a special area that I stay in during the day with Cayenne. It is a little pen of sorts, but I usually just sleep anyway. I must be contained or all kinds of bad things could happen. I could eat something I am not supposed to, (like that would really happen) or I could get stepped on by one of the big dogs while I am checking out their under parts, or I could get lost somewhere in the house where my Mom could not find me. Think of all the bad stuff I have done while being “supervised”. I am just not super trustworthy so I understand being in my little area with my big giant bed. Well since Princess Lacey got her cast off, she is now spending time in MY pen with Cayenne and me. I looked over the other day and there she was sleeping in MY bed. It wasn’t so bad before when she had to be secluded with her cast and her annoying sweetness, but now she is right in my face and I am supposed to pretend to be nice. Maybe this is just a bad dream and I will wake up and stretch without seeing that little white face blocking my view. Sometimes life just isn’t fair. Do you think I should break another one of her legs and then she would be out of my pen? Did I just write that out loud?

CHUCK

Sleeping with the enemy…

O.K. I know that I look like a grouch and "little Miss Prissy Pants" looks like an angel (and yes that is Cayenne at my feet not a basketball) but TELL ME she is stealing this photo op or what?
This is MY blog after all!

Friday, August 15, 2014

X-RAY ENVY

In a previous blog, I told you about my new “friend” Lacey who has taken over our household with her cuteness and sweetness and all of that mushy stuff that I have no use for. She had a broken leg and I thought that maybe she was faking to get all of that attention, but as it turns out, she really did have a broken leg. She recently got her cast off after having it on for 2 months. Dr.Swainson said that she was healed and was very pleased with her progress. Her leg looks a little funny since it has been wrapped up for so long and all she wants to do is lick, lick, lick, which I can understand. I saw the x-rays of her broken leg and the implant that Dr. Swainson put in to fix it. This is much better than the x-ray of my stomach when I ate too much food!  It is kind of cool. I might want one of those metal implants someday. (Don’t tell my Mom I said that) Lacey is kind of like a bionic dog or a Transformer dog. Maybe she will turn into a car someday or a cute little pick-up truck. That would be good, then she could drive away and I would get my much-deserved attention back. I’m cute too you know!

Chuck

Super Cute

                  
I really thought she just had a limp wrist...
Here is Lacey squeezing the last little bit of
 'oh you poor baby' out of Mom. 
I want my own hardware too now. It might interfere with
my globetrotting, man of mystery mystique though.
It would surely set off every airport metal detector from here to Rio
Maybe I could be the Man of Steel.