Friday, February 17, 2017

LITTLE DOG BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

I AM READY TO EAT SOME BIRTHDAY STUFF!
Happy Birthday to me….. You can finish the song, but don’t say me, say you, ok?
It feels like I am celebrating something all of the time with all of the holidays, but a birthday is a pretty big deal. I am still fairly immature for my 8 years and I am happy to admit that. I think it is important to be a puppy forever. Just remember that when you want to scold your dog. They are acting from their “inner puppy!” You should be kinder to your own inner puppy and remember that peeing on the carpet just feels right sometimes. Eating things you aren’t supposed to eat is reckless and risky, but sometimes you just have to let loose. These are my wise words of wisdom on this auspicious occasion of MY birthday. I don’t want to spend too much time on this blog because I think I have a ham cake coming my way soon. So sorry to cut things short, but even as immature as I am, I still have my priorities straight!

CHUCK

Perpetual Puppy (all bad behaviors included)

HEY...DID YOU KNOW THIS IS  A FAKE CUPCAKE?

Friday, February 10, 2017

MUST LOVE CHUCK

On this upcoming festive day of love I want you to think of me fondly. You know that I believe all of the holidays revolve around me and Valentines Day is no different. It is truly a day to love me the most! Here is how the day is going to work… you will bring me a heart shaped box of ham and I won’t be able to share because, well you know me. Then we will go for a drive and find a romantic spot overlooking the nearest pet store. We will then go inside and buy me some toys and stuff. We could also get some treats while we are there. Then we will go to a restaurant and have a nice quiet dinner that might involve the ham special. I will then want some dessert. Can I have cheesecake? Of course I can, it is my holiday!!! Are you excited for our date? I know I am! Happy Valentines Day to me!! And you of course!

CHUCK

I Heart Me!
THESE TOYS ARE FUN AND ALL, BUT WHERE IS MY HAM BOX OF LOVE?

Thursday, February 2, 2017

SPORTS TRAVEL

So I am packed, ready and off to seek warmer weather to attend the Super Bowl! Before I go, I have a few questions.

Will I be traveling on a private jet?
Does the airplane have a ham preference section?
Will the press be kept away from me so that I can have some privacy?
Do I have to stay awake through the whole game?
Will there be potato chips in my private game viewing suite?
Can I still get beer even though I am under age?
Am I the only feature in the half time show?

These are some questions that I would really need to know the answers to before I head out the door. Each one of them needs to have a YES at the end. (Except for the stay awake one) I suppose I might have packed prematurely, but how could anyone say NO to me?

CHUCK

Leaving on a jet plane….
DO  YOU THINK I NEED A BIGGER SUITCASE?
THE BRONCOS ARE PLAYING...RIGHT?

Friday, January 27, 2017

TURN UP THE HEAT....please

When it is cold outside, I always look for heat wherever I can find it. Normally I am under my blanket, but when it is treat ball time, I dash out from under my blanket and create some heat by pushing my ball around. This works until all of the treats are gone. Then I have to do something else. I know people often underestimate the smartness of us dogs, but we are pretty intelligent. For instance, we know when the heater comes on in the house and we move to the nearest heating vent. I like the ones that come out of the wall whereas Cayenne likes to sit right on top of the floor vents. I would like my body to be warm and am not a big fan of heating up my under parts if you know what I mean. I know there are many smart things that we dogs do and I will frequently bring them up for you in case you forget. Do you ever sit in front of the heating vent? Just curious.

CHUCK

HVAC Professional
THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ME HERE!
GET YOUR OWN VENT!

Friday, January 20, 2017

PRESIDENTIAL?

I THINK I LOOK LIKE THE PRESIDENT OF SOMETHING...
The Tropical Ham Association
Beach Club Pig Roast Organization
Juan Valdez Coffee and Ham Lovers Corporate Facility
I was invited to the Presidential Inauguration, but I declined the invitation. You see if I am not going to be the President, I don’t want anyone else to be either. I do this in many things in my little life. If I don’t get a biscuit, no one else should either. If I don’t get to eat potato chips during the football game, you don’t get to either. You see where I am going with this? It is not that I am selfish or self centered, I am simply self preserving. If I constantly think of ME I will ensure my survival even at the expense of others. Anyway, about the whole President thing: It has occurred to me that it might not even be a job that I would like due to the constant travelling and meetings and stuff. This might interfere with my daily routine which consists of sleeping, eating biscuits and the pursuit of potato chips. (and of course the ham ambition is in there too!) I will be the President of the Ham Lovers Club. I think that is a schedule that I could manage!

CHUCK

POHLC vs POTUS

Friday, January 13, 2017

I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF.....NO REALLY

On Monday, my friend Becky recommended that I not go outside as I would end up in Kansas. She wasn’t kidding. I could have ended up in many foreign destinations as it was just a tiny bit breezy outside. The big dogs didn’t even want to go out for fear of lifting a leg and being swept off of their other 3 feet. It was scary. The wind was howling (just like me) and there was stuff blowing around. The trash can was somewhere in the next pasture and I think my Dad had to go hunt it down. I have heard the story of the 3 little pigs and I am pretty sure someone was trying to blow my house down. I stayed hunkered under my blanket until I got the all’s clear dinner call. After that, I decided to be brave and leave my nose sticking out of the blanket. That was my day. If you would like to share your windy stories, I don’t really want to hear them as I am sure mine was the worst. Anything affecting me takes priority over something affecting you. I know you know this, but you still love me anyway right?

CHUCK

Gone with the Wind
I THINK I JUST SAW A COW BLOW BY!

Friday, January 6, 2017

NEW BEHAVIOR...UNKNOWN CAUSE

Sometimes I think it is kind of funny to start a new thing that makes my parents frown and makes my dog friends irritated. These little new behaviors just come to me out of nowhere and become my new habits. I know this drives everyone crazy because they think they have seen all that I have to show them and then I throw in something new. My newest thing goes like this….. When my Mom comes to get us out of our little pen to go into the bathroom for our nightly sleep time, she carries us one at a time. She usually takes Cayenne first and then comes back. If she tries to pick up Lacey before me, I will try to bite Lacey as she is on her way up and out. You are wondering why would I do that? The truth is, who knows? I just come up with these new snarky behaviors because that is what I do. This blog is just to share with you my latest and greatest behaviors because I know that you kind of look up to me. I am glad to be your role model of bad behavior.

CHUCK

King Pen
HERE'S AN IDEA...
WHY DON'T YOU JUST PICK ME UP FIRST? HMMMMM?