Thursday, October 30, 2014

HAPPY HOWL-A-WEEN

It is that time of year again when people dress up their dogs in silly costumes and parade them around for everyone to admire. Some of these costumes are downright silly. Like a Wiener dog dressed up like a hot dog or a Pekingese dressed up like a cowboy. I mean come on. Everyone knows that a wiener dog already looks like a hot dog without the costume and a dog with a scrunchy face cannot be dressed up like a cowboy. I could see a Great Dane or another big dog sporting an outfit from the old west, but not a little snorty dog. It just isn’t right. I am so glad that I am a classy dog and I only put on outfits that are appropriate and suit my personality. I will not stoop to a lower level of wearing something silly. I won’t even do it for treats. No, really. I do have a little bit of pride and I hope that you all look up to me for having such strong convictions and for not selling out for something as silly as food. It is a matter of pride for me and for an entire breed of Chihuahuas that I will be a shining example of integrity. So when you are planning your Halloween costume, please think about what I have said here today and don’t shame yourself by wearing a ridiculous costume. Show some pride people!

CHUCK

Eat more chicken

I am a Holstein Friesian calf.
When I am full grown I will weigh an impressive 1,280 pounds.
So there...

Friday, October 24, 2014

LIKE DAD LIKE DOG

Sometimes it is cool when it is just me and my Dad. When I pretend that I am the only dog in the house. He gives me butt scratches and rubs my ears. He gives me treats and then puts band-aids on his fingers because you know I get a little over-anxious when it comes to food. I think my Dad is pretty cool and I think he thinks the same of me. I bark and howl when we watch football together. He screams and jumps up and down off the couch. He can put away some serious food. I have been known to do the same. We both snore when we are sleeping and we both dream we are chasing rabbits. (not sure on the rabbit dream, but I bet it is true). We both like beer and potato chips and the only difference is that I am ok eating the chips off the floor. (I have never seen my Dad do that, but who knows?) It is a great thing to have that Dad-Dog relationship and I am super grateful that sometimes I get him all to myself. Oh and did I mention that we both like Bob Marley?............

Chuck

Jammin’
This is my Dad Bob. I think Marley is another dude,
 that seems to make people shake their heads and put hats on.
I'll put anything on my head as long as it eventually leads to food and quality Dad time.

Friday, October 17, 2014

SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE (Whatever)

People talk about sharing and giving and all of that thoughtful stuff and I just shake my head, scratch my ears and lick my feet. I don’t really get it. What’s mine is mine right? I am entitled to my food, my toys, my bed, but it seems that I am supposed to share. Where did this concept come from? Whoever made it up has never met me or they would have put in an exception clause. Some of us were just born greedy. You just get more stuff by being self-centered and when the world revolves around you, life is good. I sometimes pretend to share so that my Mom will say “Oh, that’s so nice Chuck” while I am thinking “not really Mom.” It is a good way to earn a treat and a friendly pat on the head. I just can’t keep it up very long. Maybe I should just be secretly selfish and no one would really know. I know that you, my blog followers will not betray my trust so let’s just keep this discussion between us. I will snarl more quietly when someone comes near my stuff: just loud enough for my selfish message to get across. I will pretend to share my toy and then snatch it back before anyone is the wiser. I really don’t care what anyone thinks, but I do have a reputation to uphold. Please do your part by telling everyone what a good dog I am….kind, thoughtful, generous, smart, handsome…yadda-yadda-yadda. If you do this for me, you won’t get anything because I am selfish.

Chuck

Generosity Challenged 

This is me pretending to share my new favorite toy (you know for the camera and all).
Cayenne however knows that I am not going to so much as let her look at MY toy.
She's all blurry 'cuz she's shaking her head…she really should know by now.

Friday, October 10, 2014

FEED ME!

Twice daily, my house becomes a cacophony of barking, howling, whining and complete impatience. Is someone at the door? No. Is an unknown animal nearby? No. Did the mailman or trash man come? No. This disturbance in the universe occurs because it is time to eat. Each of us dogs struggle to wait for our next meal. We commiserate with each other through our howling and barking. We notice that our fellow dogs are starving. Our little ribs are poking out. We haven’t eaten in forever. You cannot get the dishes down fast enough. Did we have breakfast? I can’t remember. If my Mom would just give me a giant bowl that would last me all day, I might be a happier dog. By listening to all of us at mealtime, one would think that we have NEVER been fed. Of course that isn’t true, but it feels that way in the moment. Do people do this too, I wonder? Are restaurants full of screaming, whining people who can’t wait for their meal? I suppose not. It is just us furry impatient creatures who just can’t seem to get enough. At my house, even the horses snort and whinny when they sense that food time is approaching. It is like we are all wearing little watches that go off when our breakfast or dinner is due. The little snacks and treats that we receive are like a little appetizer that just makes us want more. Maybe we should get more. Maybe we should have four meals a day instead of two. I’m just sayin’………….

CHUCK

Dinner Bell
video

Why did you give me an empty bowl? Can't you see how shaky and weak I am.
This blog writing really takes it out of a guy like me.


Thursday, October 2, 2014

FALL COLORS

Everyone is always so excited about fall because of the colors. I want to discuss this concept, but first I want to talk about all of the things that I am going to miss as I wave my paw goodbye to summer.

I will miss nude sunbathing in my back yard, all of the flies that chase me through the house while I am howling at them, the afternoon rain showers that make for good naps, the smell of the barbeque and the lure of the food that I am going to steal, the World Cup Soccer games, the longer days so that I can get more naps in, the bicycles that go by my house just so I can bark my big Chihuahua warning and last but not realistic, margaritas that I dream of drinking while sitting outside watching the sunset.

There is lots of stuff that I will miss, but let’s talk about what excites me about fall….
The leaves drop and I get to chase them and eat them if time allows (before I get caught), warm toasty blankets that come out of the dryer for me to snuggle in, getting a little bit more fur on my nearly hairless body, Halloween and Thanksgiving (food centered holidays), shorter days, but longer naps and last but not realistic, attending the Oktoberfest and drinking some pumpkin beer.

I hope my reflections of the seasons have prompted you to think of your own list to look forward to this fall, but please don’t try to eat my leaves or steal any of my beer. I will bite you.

CHUCK

Leaf Blower
Dang, I'm handsome! I just had to say that.
It just blurted out of me, I couldn't help it.
I really should be more modest…whatever that means.
But just look at me, it's totally hard to look away, right?