Friday, November 17, 2017

NO BLOG FOR YOU!


CAN YOU HEAR ME MEDITATING? I WISH YOU COULD HEAR ME EATING!!!!
You will just have to wait until Thanksgiving Day to get a blog from me. I am hunkered down and waiting for the feast so the creative juices just aren’t built up yet. Juices- that reminds me of turkey juices or gravy or something yummy. I am unable to utilized my creative skills when I am so focused on the coming feast. So forgive me for my laziness and lack of responsibility. I just need this little break and meditation. Instead of saying OOOOhhMM, I say YYYUUUUmmmmm. Hey it works for me. Be ready for Turkey Day. I promise you a blog that will make your mouth water. Just saying it is making my mouth water. Do you see what I mean? No focus!

CHUCK

Fake Blogger

Friday, November 10, 2017

FALL FORWARD

I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS TIME TO GET UP OR NOT. IS MY BREAKFAST READY YET?
Did someone change my clock again? This is really getting very annoying. The other night, I was waiting for my dinner and it didn’t come. I knew that my empty belly wasn’t lying. I thought my Mom was lying when she said it wasn’t time yet, but it really wasn’t. It was a full hour past my dinner time before the grub showed up and I didn’t get an apology or anything. I practically starved to death and didn’t even know who to blame. Well I think that someone changed all of the clocks in my house to make my breakfast and dinner come later. There is another time when the clocks seem to re-set themselves and I get fed earlier. This is the clock change that I like. From now on, any clock changes need to go forward so that anyone who looks at the clock says “It is time for Chuck’s meal.” No more of this backward stuff. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. The big dogs were all confused too when the food wasn’t making its way into the bowls. I am protesting the clocks right now and if you would like to join me, just set your clock forward a few hours. Just think, your work day will go by super-fast and before you know it, it will be dinner time. Yay me and my really good ideas!

CHUCK
Daylight Time Waster

Friday, November 3, 2017

EMBRACING FALL


I AM WAITING......PATIENTLY...SORT OF...WHERE IS MY FOOD?
I wasn’t really ready for the cold weather, but now I am feeling excited for the chill, the snow and the brisk fall weather. If you are wondering why, it is because the cold weather is the prelude to Thanksgiving. Yes, it is close and I am already drooling. I sometimes drool in my sleep, but this is drool with a purpose. I can already smell the food and I am anticipating my day of football, napping, turkey and maybe some extra ham. Thanksgiving is my very favorite holiday because it is all about the food. I am currently taking food donations. I don’t want you to think that these donations are going to needy Chihuahuas around the country. No, these donations are strictly for me. I am putting together a campaign of Chuck food so that I can have more than one Thanksgiving Day. I would like to make it a year- round event for myself. Just think: every day would be Thanksgiving Day just for me! This would not apply to anyone else, so don’t get any lofty ideas about starting your own food drive. This food truck will only be delivering to ME!!! So, thank you in advance for your generous donation. I am pretty sure it is tax deductible?

CHUCK
Non- Profit Food Bank Owner

Friday, October 27, 2017

CLASSY HALLOWEEN?

DO YOU THINK I WILL GET THREE SQUARE  MEALS EACH DAY DURING MY INCARCERATION?
In marking my five- year anniversary of blog writing, I think that my Halloween costume should be trendy yet fashionable. I would like to be dressed in something that makes people take a second look at my extremely cute face. Maybe a business suit or I could dress up as the Starbucks barista guy. I think that might be cool. I could also dress up as a fancy chauffeur or a butler. Perhaps I could dress up as someone famous like Lassie. The options are endless for me to really be something classy for Halloween. Unless my Mom has other ideas considering my recent behavior. She couldn’t still be mad could she?


CHUCK
Inmate #775
THIS IS NOT WHAT I WOULD PICK!!!

Friday, October 20, 2017

SLIP SLIDIN' AWAY....

My Mom had to put down plastic on the floor of my pen because Lacey likes to pee everywhere. She pees around the bed and around her food dish. I think this may be some protection ritual designed to keep other animals away from her space. Who knows, but it is kind of weird. So I get to scoot around on the plastic and hope my little feet don’t slip out from under me. It is like that summer game where people run and slide on that giant plastic runner. It is called a Slip n Slide. Well I have a Slip n Slide pen. All I need is a little bit of water and I could shoot myself from one end to the other. Oh I guess I could use pee instead of water. YUCK!
OH SHE LOOKS INNOCENT NOW...WAIT TIL YOU SEE A PICTURE OF HER
PERFORMING HER PROTECTION RITUAL!


CHUCK
Trying to stay dry!

Friday, October 13, 2017

THE DOG CAN'T TELL TIME?

So we all know that dogs can’t tell time right? Well there are two times that I can tell and that is breakfast time and dinner time. I always know when they are! I can be in a sound sleep and my little inner food alarm goes off and I am wide awake ready for my meal. I guess I couldn’t look at a watch or a clock and know what any of those numbers mean, but I do know the important stuff. I will also say that dogs are unable to tell when the seasons are changing. I have heard that the bears know and they take a long nap. The birds know and they take a vacation flight to Florida or some other warm location. I however was not prepared for the snow we received at the beginning of the week. Just a day before that, I was sunning myself and enjoying a nice warm day. This weather stuff is literally for the birds. I would just like to be able to choose my weather when I get up and I can tell you I won’t be picking snow. My little near naked Chihuahua body gets cold and I need a bigger blanket. I wonder if one of you would be so kind as to buy me an electric blanket. I will turn it on in October and leave it on until June. 
This bed has an electric blanket- H is for HOT!
I think I will start sleeping here!

CHUCK
Weather Nerd

Friday, October 6, 2017

ON PAROLE....

As you know I was grounded last week and unable to reach you, my dear fans. My Mom just made a mistake. It was a total misunderstanding. You see what happened was this: I was daydreaming in the closet about a closet monster and when my Mom scooped me up, it was a primal reaction to defend myself from the closet beast. Who knew that my Mom would interrupt my little imagination at that precise moment? So of course, I didn’t try to bite her! Anyway, I have sucked up for a whole week now and I finally got a little slice of ham for my efforts. I also get to write my blog and I will try not to say anything else about “the biting episode.” I know my Mom was really mad at me, but when I really turn on the CUTE like I have this past week, she is putty in my paws. I just want to yell “look out ham, I am back!”

CHUCK
Redeemed
HERE I AM TURNIN' ON THE CUTENESS! THIS SHOULD WORK RIGHT?