Friday, August 26, 2016

RITE OF PASSAGE



Many of you know that any new Doctors in the Veterinary Specialty Center are required to be interviewed by me. Yes, you might not know this little secret, but I am the one who chooses these fine Doctors to make sure they fit in with our already excellent staff! I ask them many questions……

  • If I have an emergency situation, are you available exclusively for me?
  •    Just hypothetically, if I were to eat something that I am not supposed to eat like a rock or something, are you able to fix me up?
  •   What if I ingested too much food in one sitting, do you have something available that would make my tummy feel better?
  •    If I were to run around like a crazy idiot and I got a sore leg because of it, do you have some magic treatment that will make my legs really strong for a Chihuahua?
  •    If I were depressed, would you run to the store to buy me some ham?

 These are just a few of the questions on my list and each Doctor must answer those questions in a manner that pleases me and makes me confident of their ability to take care of me.
I am pleased to announce that Colorado Canine Orthopedics and Rehab has added two Doctors to our staff based on my recommendations. The cool thing is there are two of them with the same last name and they both really like me. The best part of their initiation process was the photo shoot! They got to get their picture taken with ME. This is the pinnacle for all of the Doctors in our building and it is an experience that they will never forget! Please welcome Dr. Mr and Mrs. DeTora. They come highly recommended by me!

CHUCK
Human Resource Director

And Question Asker
I AM FOR SURE GETTING SOME HAM FROM THESE TWO!!!!

Friday, August 19, 2016

JAIL BREAK?

The other day when I was sleeping, I had a dream about my big break out, my big escape from the pen, my launch to freedom and then I woke up. There was a key on the floor right next to my pen. Could it be the key to my freedom? If I could just reach it, I bet I could use it to escape from my confinement with the girls or should I say my torment from the girls? I get stepped on and pushed and shoved with their tiny little feet and tiny little claws that dig right in since I don’t have much fur you know. I have to share water with them and my blanket. I think that they should have their own pen and I could be in solitary confinement. I would be ok with that but I try to think of what I would do if I could reach the key and escape…… Hmmmmmm 
I could run around like a crazy dog, annoying the big dogs by sniffing their under parts. I could run through the big yard like a crazed Chihuahua looking for stuff to chase. I could jump on all of the furniture until I found the place that I like the best and then pee on it. This all sounds pretty fun, but if I contemplate this further I realize that I would probably get eaten by one of the big dogs if I annoy them too much. I would probably be smaller than anything I might find to chase and I might break a leg or something if I jump on the furniture. I guess my little pen is the safest place for me to be and my pen mates aren’t that bad right? Maybe I could give one of them the key and say “here you go… have a good time!”

CHUCK

Safety First
SEE, IT IS RIGHT THERE. 

Friday, August 12, 2016

DENIED?

WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO?
Some of you may remember this lovely picture of me and my friend Becky sharing some love and a cup of coffee. Well after last week’s blog, I sent my friend Becky an e-mail requesting the opportunity to try out my rooster skills at her house. I asked if she needed my resume as I was applying for a job of sorts. Here is the response that I received.
Thank you for your inquiry.  We are not taking applications at this time. As you can see, I copied this directly from her e-mail response. My feelings are a little bit hurt right now and my little ego has been squished like a bug. We are friends right? Don’t friends give their friends a job if they ask for one? I am not asking to balance her checkbook, repair vehicles or clean her kitchen (unless there is food on the floor, then I might be interested in that job too) I simply want a little bit of support in my new career endeavor. I think that Becky should reconsider her cold professional response to this little Chihuahua friend of hers. Many of you know her and you could certainly contact her on my behalf. Remind her of all of the good times that we have shared. Like the time I peed in her office right after she took me outside. That was fun right? Then there was the time that I escaped from my Mom and ran right to Becky’s office knowing there was some love there waiting for me. Not feeling much love right now I can tell you that. If I were in her office right now I might do something more elaborate than just peeing. Use your imagination…..

CHUCK

Revenge Pooper

SO THERE!

Friday, August 5, 2016

HERE COMES THE ROOSTER...

I have been thinking lately that I need to have another job besides my blog writing. If you have followed my blogs for long enough you will remember that I have frequently had some ideas about which jobs I might like. Unfortunately, most jobs get in the way of my most important job of sleeping and that is unacceptable. I have thought of an alternative job that has a very specific time frame and once completed the job is done for the day. I would like to have a rooster job. First thing in the morning, I get up and make some noise and go back to sleep. This is something that I kind of already do. This is a dream job for me and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. So you are asking yourself if I can actually make the real rooster noise and I am wondering why you would think such a stupid question. I can make the Chuck rooster noise which sounds a little bit like a howl, but if I add a doodle doo bark at the end, I think I can make it work. I am eager to get started on my new career and will be launching it tomorrow morning.  If you hear something other than a rooster tomorrow, you will know it is me with your morning wake up call! Oh wait, do I need to get rid of the real rooster in order to steal his job? I can’t have him trying to out-do me on the morning noise creation. Maybe I can send him to a farm far away where there are no Chihuahuas within a 50 mile radius (in case other Chihuahuas are interested in this career path as well) This is a good plan and no one even needs to know that a change has taken place.

CHUCK

Chuckadoodledoo
SHOULD I START YET? I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK ON MY TIMING A LITTLE BIT....

Friday, July 29, 2016

SLEEPING BEAUTY?

SO SHE IS A LITTLE BIT CUTE.....WHEN SHE IS ASLEEP
I think that I am pretty cute when I am sleeping though it would be hard for anyone to know since I am usually under my blanket. Somebody made a big deal the other day about how cute Lacey is when she sleeps and I beg to differ. She is not really sleeping, but waiting to step on me or pee on me when I am not prepared. How can that possibly be cute? Cute is me when I am sleeping or awake. Cute is me eating or drinking. (ok maybe the eating part isn’t super attractive, but surely when I am sitting and not doing something wrong) Anyway, I think that we have all determined that in the world of Chihuahuas that I am a cute guy. Lacey can be all white and fluffy and look like a little bunny rabbit, but I with my lack of hair and fluffiness am certainly cuter than she is. I am not going to ask for your responses because I know your answer and I appreciate your loyalty to me, the semi hairless dog with a big head who is really cute! Thanks for your silent vote. I hear you!

CHUCK
Occasional Obstructed Cuteness Representative



I AM CUTER THOUGH RIGHT? IF YOU COULD LIFT UP THE BLANKET, YOU WOULD SEE!

Friday, July 22, 2016

ROUND PEG – SQUARE HOLE?

The size of one’s brain is not determined by the size of one’s head. Example: my head is small, but my brain is huge. My big dog friends have way bigger heads than I do, but clearly their brain size is questionable. Examples: they do not sleep under a blanket. That is a no-brainer. They also get all worked up about food time before my Mom is even close to handing out the grub. I wait until it is a sure thing before I start the happy dance. None of them have even thought about writing their own blogs. This would be too much work and their paws are too big to delicately tap on the keyboard. They also are not selective in their barking choices. They bark at anything. I choose to bark at certain things that have meaning: a stranger in the house, the trash going out the door and the package deliveries. You know the big stuff. Another fine example is my friend Clayton who sticks his big ol’ dog head in the little dog door. He does not fit in the dog door, but he constantly wills his head and body to be small enough to get in the door. Not gonna happen big guy. Anyway, I hope all of my illustrations of smartness have led you to the same conclusion that I have reached. Little dogs have bigger brains than big dogs. This is probably written in an encyclopedia somewhere, but I am too small to pick up a big book. My brain however is big enough to understand what is in the big book. So there!

CHUCK

Brainstorm (different from a thunderstorm)
DOES MY HEAD LOOK BIG IN THIS PICTURE?

DO YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO SQUEEZE THROUGH? 

Friday, July 15, 2016

CHUCK EXPOSED!

Have you ever left your house and realized you had forgotten to put your clothes on? Have you ever been under-dressed for a fancy event? This is how I am feeling. It has been a little warm lately and I have had to come out from under my blanket and I feel completely exposed. I’ve even tried the half on half off blanket trick and I still feel completely naked. It is not intentional nakedness. I am just one hot Chihuahua. Is that a good thing? Anyway, as this summer heats up, you are going to be feeling exposed. If you like this feeling, there might be something wrong with you. Just sayin….. I am much more comfortable hiding under my blanket and you may probably feel better wearing a big parka or something, but it is too hot for that. Stay cool this summer and being a little bit naked is ok right?

CHUCK

Chihuahua Streaker, I mean sleeper…
STOP STARING AT MY NAKEDNESS PLEASE!