Friday, February 27, 2015

HIGH RISE CHUCK

I am what like 6 feet tall? I could be looking at a new basketball career!
I like me as a taller dog. I am regal and impressive. I am intimidating and imposing. I can see it now….. All of the big dogs running from me in fright because I am bigger and better. I will now be able to see out windows and leap easily onto the big bed. I can jump onto the counter and snarf up all of my Dad’s prepared meals while his back is turned. I can open the refrigerator with ease and gobble up the cold snacks. I can almost reach the peephole on the front door and look that UPS guy right in the eye when he tries to sneak those packages onto my porch. Then I will bark and howl and he will drive off swiftly leaving a cloud of dust or snow depending on the season. I will be able to fill my own treat ball and get it down from the shelf that it sits on. Yes, I like my tallness. (Is that a word?) Who cares, I am tall now, I can do anything! Irish Wolfhounds beware…tall Chuck is here!

Chuck

Delusional Chihuahua 

Friday, February 20, 2015

SHORT DOG DISCRIMINATION



There are just too many things that we little short dogs can’t do. We can’t get the food off of the counter unless someone pick us up and lets us scamper across it without interruption. I can reach dog underparts, but not so much with people. I see the big dogs do it all of the time so it must be fun, plus people don’t seem to like it so that sounds even more fun to me. We can’t jump in the car when it is time to go for a ride or jump out when we have reached our destination. We aren’t able to catch a frisbee as it would probably knock us out cold and don’t even try a baseball or a full size tennis ball….ouch! No fence jumping to look for greener pastures or other trouble that might exist outside the yard. You are probably wondering why I am even bringing this up, so here is the scoop. My friend Sabre had to have surgery on his throat and he needs to eat and drink with his food elevated. I was running around the kitchen and discovered these new high rise dishes and I tried to get up there to get me some food! Who wouldn’t right? Well not happening. I am just too short. I don’t like the word NO or the concept of not being able to do whatever I want to do. This is one of those times that I am denied! Please don’t cry, I am still holding out hope that a late birthday present will arrive. The step stool has become my most desired present. If you were busy last week for my birthday and are just now scrambling to get my gift, get me a step stool please! It should maybe have smaller steps, but more of them with carpet on them so my little feet don’t slip. I have to get up to those dishes!!!! Time is of the essence……

You do realize that I can't reach these dishes right?

CHUCK

Steppin Up

Friday, February 13, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Will you be my Valentine?
and then you can buy me something from my Birthday list!
You wrote stuff down right? It is spelled H  A  M!
On February 16th, I will be turning sweet 6! If you ask my Mom, she thinks I am still acting like 6 months instead of 6 years. She is constantly awed and bewildered by my lack of maturity and personal growth as a dog. I still have ALL of my bad habits that I had at 6 months of age and I have added some new ones to my repertoire. I think that shows growth and maturity don’t you? I am just young at heart and I think that is an excellent trait for an aging 6 year old. I am hoping for a big birthday cake with my name written on top and candles made of Milk Bones. I would also like a can opener, an I-Phone, a portable heater and a step stool so that I can reach the handle on the refrigerator. Maybe a cooler filled with some tasty Chihuahua snacks, like ham! Are you writing this down? Please take a moment to do so. And just for the record, this is the first time I am mentioning my birthday in my blog, so we have some making up to do in the present department. I think that this blog should be retroactive so you owe me 6 presents. Yes you. Please do RUSH shipping or whatever to get my gifts to me on time. I am not having a public party this year, but maybe next year. I will then be able to add to my list of naughtiness and show off my personal growth.


CHUCK
Birthday Boy

PS: I am allowed to have more than one cake! Like maybe 6…….

Friday, February 6, 2015

TIME OUT!

Here's me at the beginning of my dream
I did it again…. I slept through the entire Super Bowl. I wanted to be awake during the potato chip eating section. I wanted to be included in the beer slurping contest. (Small Chihuahua beer mug for me please). I wanted to be there to do my Chihuahua ROAR when Katy Perry sang the tiger song. I would have even gotten a tiger outfit so that my roar would be more realistic. I wanted to bark my praise and howl my protests on the good and bad plays. I wanted to run circles around the living room on the touch down celebrations. 

All of these moments slipped by as I dreamed of chasing squirrels and stealing their food. I dreamt of big buffet tables full of my favorite snacks and treats and maybe there was a large ham at the center of the table. I don’t really remember now, but it was pretty good. Maybe my dreams were better than all of the Super Bowl stuff. 

There was only one winner in my dreams and it was ME! No overtime or coin tosses needed.  Sometimes our dreams are better than the real thing don’t you think? That is why they say “DREAM BIG”. This works for even small dogs like me.

CHUCK

Little Dreamer
This bag of chips is intercepted by ME

In my dream, the Broncos are actually in the Super Bowl and I am unstoppable in getting my potato chips!

Friday, January 30, 2015

ME FIRST…

There are lots of times that I want to say “Me first!” It would start with me being first at the dog meal distribution and continue with me being the first to pee on the pee pad. I also like to be the first one to fall asleep so I don’t have to listen to anyone else snoring. I should always be the first one to get the butt scratches before my Mom’s hand gets tired. I am the first in line for falling food and the first to swipe it right out of someone’s hand. I am also the first to figure out my Mom’s mood on any given day so that I am NOT the first to get in trouble! (OK that one doesn’t usually work out for me, but I try!) 
I am ready to park now. Oh wait, I can't see my rearview mirror. Do I really need it?

Being first is usually a good thing unless it involves me being the first to get caught. That is not a good thing. So maybe I don’t always have to be first for everything. I guess I don’t need to worry about being the first in line at the DMV since I am pretty sure I won’t be driving anytime soon. I might have a tough time seeing over the steering wheel. If I could drive, I would be the first Chihuahua to parallel park. That might be cool…….

CHUCK

Future Parking Ticket Recipient

Friday, January 23, 2015

INTRUDER ALERT!

Dr. Bonnie Wright and the intruders
I am THE Chihuahua right? I represent the best in all Chihuahuas. It seems hard for me to believe that there has been a breach at my Mom’s work. Last week there were other little dogs who visited for the day when I wasn’t there. Let me give you some background on this development. 

There is a new Doctor at Colorado Canine Orthopedics. Her name is Dr. Bonnie Wright and she is pretty amazing. She can do all kinds of cool dog stuff: she does canine pain management, rehab and acupuncture (not sure what that is, but it sounds cool). I am sure she has a whole list of board certified Doctor skills and I know we are lucky to have her. 

However, she has brought with her three Chihuahuas. They were the intruders at my Mom’s work the other day. I know no one thought I would find out, but I am very resourceful and I have my spies you know.

I am most disturbed by this Chihuahua infestation. I know it may come down to a little dog squabble and I think I am ready. I have been practicing on the girls at my house and I think I can take all three of the enemy at once! 
They look cute, but don't be deceived!

Are you with me? Come on, I need some inspiration here and some support form my fans. Maybe I should start selling T-shirts and hats and such………

CHUCK

Wright On!

Friday, January 16, 2015

LIFE IS A BIG BALL!

Chuck's Ball - Colorado Canine Orthopedics
"This is my big ball. You need to get your own!"
I hope that in the beginning of this New Year you are able to find something that makes you inspired. I hope that you search out something that makes you happy. My hope is that you have lots of laughter and joy while doing something that you really love. 

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that those words of inspiration didn’t really come from me and I am going to tell you that food is all you really need. Tempting as it is, that is not the purpose of this particular joy filled blog. Just remember whether you actually laugh or in some cases wag your tail, you need to find a distraction from the stresses of life. 

I know for myself that my life is very stressful when I am waiting for dinner and one of my furry family members slows down the process. Or when I am trying to take a much needed siesta and one of the big dogs sound the UPS man alert and then it turns out to be a false alarm. I don’t have much patience for that kind of thing. I am sure that you are searching yourself right now for the things that stress you out. 

My suggestion is to find yourself a really big squeaky ball, have someone throw it for you, toss it around while squeaking that ball like you mean it. This will reduce your stress level completely. It will also encourage others to leave you alone since they will think that you are weird. I think this will work for you. Let me know!

CHUCK

Little Squeaker