Friday, January 13, 2017

I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF.....NO REALLY

On Monday, my friend Becky recommended that I not go outside as I would end up in Kansas. She wasn’t kidding. I could have ended up in many foreign destinations as it was just a tiny bit breezy outside. The big dogs didn’t even want to go out for fear of lifting a leg and being swept off of their other 3 feet. It was scary. The wind was howling (just like me) and there was stuff blowing around. The trash can was somewhere in the next pasture and I think my Dad had to go hunt it down. I have heard the story of the 3 little pigs and I am pretty sure someone was trying to blow my house down. I stayed hunkered under my blanket until I got the all’s clear dinner call. After that, I decided to be brave and leave my nose sticking out of the blanket. That was my day. If you would like to share your windy stories, I don’t really want to hear them as I am sure mine was the worst. Anything affecting me takes priority over something affecting you. I know you know this, but you still love me anyway right?

CHUCK

Gone with the Wind
I THINK I JUST SAW A COW BLOW BY!

Friday, January 6, 2017

NEW BEHAVIOR...UNKNOWN CAUSE

Sometimes I think it is kind of funny to start a new thing that makes my parents frown and makes my dog friends irritated. These little new behaviors just come to me out of nowhere and become my new habits. I know this drives everyone crazy because they think they have seen all that I have to show them and then I throw in something new. My newest thing goes like this….. When my Mom comes to get us out of our little pen to go into the bathroom for our nightly sleep time, she carries us one at a time. She usually takes Cayenne first and then comes back. If she tries to pick up Lacey before me, I will try to bite Lacey as she is on her way up and out. You are wondering why would I do that? The truth is, who knows? I just come up with these new snarky behaviors because that is what I do. This blog is just to share with you my latest and greatest behaviors because I know that you kind of look up to me. I am glad to be your role model of bad behavior.

CHUCK

King Pen
HERE'S AN IDEA...
WHY DON'T YOU JUST PICK ME UP FIRST? HMMMMM?

Friday, December 30, 2016

CHUCK'S REVERSE RESOLUTIONS

LET'S CELEBRATE ALL OF MY RESOLUTIONS COMING TRUE.....AGAIN
Every time a new year comes around, I do the whole resolution list with all of the bold and inspired goals that I would like to achieve. I don’t feel like this has been very productive for me as I have never actually had any of my resolutions become a reality in my little world. This year I am actually going to list the things that I am NOT going to change. By doing this, I am ensuring a successful New Year’s plan because I know that I can stick to it.
Here we go... drum roll….ooh’s... aahhhhs...applause....murmers of approval
I am going to scarf down my food as fast as possible. (You never know when there might be a ham shortage)
I am going to be a jerk when my Mom tries to wake me from a sound sleep. (unless there is food involved)
I am going to howl whenever the UPS guy turns the corner onto my street. (whether he stops at my house or not)
I will steal the food of my fellow dogs whenever the opportunity presents itself. (when my Mom isn’t looking)

Do you see how great this is? I already do all of this stuff so 2017 is looking really good to me!

CHUCK

Happy New/Old/Familiar Year!

Friday, December 23, 2016

REINDEER JOB OPENING?

DOES MY NOSE LOOK RED TO YOU?
This Christmas I have decided to be a reindeer. I hear it is a fun job since you get to travel around with Santa and drop off stuff to kids. I might even be the red nosed one who gets to lead the pack and shines his little beacon nose to light the way for Santa’s sleigh. (did you notice that was a rhyme?)  Anyway, I think I would make a good reindeer as I am fast and I really like Christmas. What other criteria could there be? The hours don’t sound so great though with flying around the world. This would be like a 24 hour shift. When would I get to eat? Would I still be able to get my 22 hours of sleep? I am thinking no. I am not a math expert, but the 24 and the 22 just don’t match up.  I also want to be the recipient of the gifts not the one dropping the gifts off. OK, I am rethinking my role for this Christmas. I am going to be the Chihuahua of Cheer. In this job, I spread my joy of the season by indulging in all of the things (food) that Christmas has to offer. I am assuming there is a honey baked ham in there somewhere right?

CHUCK

Merry Christmas to all and to all a big bite of ham!
OK I AM NOT LOOKING. YOU CAN COME DOWN MY CHIMNEY NOW!

Friday, December 16, 2016

CHUCK'S HOLIDAY BAKE SHOP- YUM

I GOT ALL MY STUFF...NOW I NEED AN APRON AND A LITTLE CHEF HAT PLEASE!
I have decided to do a little baking for Christmas this year. I have never done this before, but I am confident that my love for food will lead me to success. I would like to hand out my little baked creations to my friends as a holiday gift, but I am concerned that my baked goods might not make it to their intended recipients. I am fairly sure that I will consume everything that I bake. It is going to smell good and be all hot and yummy coming out of the oven and then I will start to drool and I won’t be able to control myself. I am going to try out my baking skills anyway and I will at least share with you some of my ideas even if you don’t get to try them…..

Chuck’s Christmas Muffin Surprise
These muffins will have all kinds of tasty stuff in them starting with apples, bananas, some special spices and ham….YUM

Chuck’s Little Christmas Cookies
These cookies will be shaped like little Chihuahuas wearing Santa hats and they will taste like butter, honey and ham…..YUM

Chuck’s Ho Ho Ho Pumpkin Pie
This is not your usual pumpkin pie. This one has some special ingredients that will wow your senses! Of course there will be pumpkin then I will add some carrots, Pupperoni dog treats, chicken broth and ham…..DOUBLE YUM
I know you are drooling right now. Me too!

CHUCK

THIS WHOLE BAKING THING MIGHT TAKE TOO LONG...
I AM HUNGRY NOW!
Short Little Baker

Friday, December 9, 2016

CHUCK RE-WRITES CHRISTMAS

I NEED A LITTLE FIRE IN THE STOVE HERE PLEASE.....

My Dad was listening to some Christmas songs the other night and I with my little creative mind decided that these songs should be re-visited and perhaps re-written. They didn’t mention me at all and I think that needs to be changed. For example:

My ham roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost better stay away from my nose (or I will bite him)
Yuletide carrots being eaten by me
Chihuahua’s romping where the Pupperoni grows

Don’t you think this version is more dog friendly? I know that you don’t actually grow Pupperoni, but who cares?
How about another classic favorite?

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout I am telling you why
Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town.

He’s making a list and checking it twice
Loves to eat his ham with rice
Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town

My little dog Christmas Carol album should be coming out sometime next year, just as soon as I get a producer, agent and someone to sing my merry tunes. I would sing them but it sounds more like a howl though it is pretty festive when combined with bells and other instruments.

CHUCK

Christmas Carol King

Friday, December 2, 2016

BLACK FRIDAY RECOVERY UPDATE

People are crazy! Who would have known that Black Friday is such a big deal? Even for a popular Chihuahua like myself, I was still trampled and abused! Who would have known that there would be such a rush at the Ham Store? Who should always be first in line? That is right… ME! I practically own stock in the ham business. I am now recovering from my Black Friday adventure and I have to tell you that next year I will be ordering online. That way the nice delivery person will bring my ham right to my door. We will all bark like crazy until the truck pulls away. Then I will have to find a way to escape from my pen, get outside and get my ham box open. I think that will be easier than dealing with the crowds! Next year, just stay home. Don’t go out there!!!!!

CHUCK

Former Black Friday Ham Shopper
IS MY BAND-AID STILL ON?