PLEASE PULL OVER

 Now that I am over my depression, I am once again thinking about my career. It is great being a blogger, but I think that I need to do something else to serve the public, something selfless and generous. Yes I am thinking of becoming a police officer. Think of all of the good that I could do for my friends and neighbors. I could wear a small little bulletproof vest with little handcuffs and a very small little dog gun. I could get one of those little dog police cars with flashing lights and a siren that barks a warning that I am on your tail! Get it…tail? Anyway, instead of pulling someone over and asking for their license and registration, I could insist on them handing over any food items that they might have in their vehicle. If they say they don’t have any food, I could search their car myself with my food attuned nose and write them a ticket if I come up empty. If there is something tasty of interest to me, I will let them go on their way. I would also frequent the donut shops and would be welcomed with free donuts for my excellent service. I am not sure where a badge would fit in, so maybe I would have to be undercover. I do spend a lot of time under my blanket, so I do have experience in that area. I could even get my own K-9 officer to assist me with the big busts, like a really big ham or a pizza or something that I might not be able to handle by myself. It is all about teamwork when you are on the force. I would have to be in charge though and get my slice of the pizza first. I think that would only be fair.

OFFICER CHUCK

Lead Detective

Food Investigator

State Pooper

 

This uniform is really impairing my ability to frisk my suspects.
 Let me tell you, I've found way more than your everyday breath mints, if you know what I mean.