CLOSET EATER

So this is not a figurative term. I really do eat in the closet. My separation from my other furry friends is due to the fact that I am not satisfied with eating JUST my food. I feel it is my responsibility to try everyone’s food to make sure that it is of the finest quality. OK, I really just want to steal everyone’s food cause I am a food motivated jerk. When I am in the closet I focus on my eating task at hand, but when I am finished my attention has been known to wander to other food possibilities. My parent’s should know better than to leave those bags of unopened dog food in the closet with me. It is then my duty to open the bags for the reason mentioned above. It is a scratching, biting and clawing frenzy to get it open before I am discovered. I am not always successful, but when I am it is totally worth all of the screaming and spankings that come after I have gobbled the goods. I think in a previous blog, I was able to blame this phenomenon on a mouse, but this time my Mom caught me “red pawed” so to speak. I don’t even know what that means really. If I were to go to court to try to defend myself, I would lose due to the incriminating evidence (Mom got a photo of me snarfing but I was just trying to help clean up the spilled food, I swear). Good thing it was worth it right?

CHUCK

Inmate #3754    

I was just reading the ingredient list when the bag just burst open.
Seriously, I've never seen anything like it before. This is a picture of me trying to keep all the tasty little crunchy pieces from spilling all over the floor.  

I think I need a 'pro-bono' lawyer here. I'm totally pro bones myself
but I'm not sure how I find a lawyer that is too….