Friday, August 28, 2015

BASEBALL, HOTDOGS AND CHUCK


I think someone important has been reading my blogs and listening to my wise suggestions. In the past I have discussed having a sports team named after me. Well we are getting closer. I just discovered that there is a minor league baseball team called the El Paso Chihuahuas. I just know that this is all my doing. I am the spokesdog for my other little hairy Mexican friends and now we have our own team! I am a little bit surprised that I was not asked to be the mascot or the owner or the ball retrieval dog. I am sure this is just an oversight on their part so I will be expecting a call any day now. Maybe they actually want me to play on the team. I will have to think about that. I can’t hurt my little paws playing baseball and risk not being able to write my blog. I think I will only accept an upper management or celebrity position. I am pretty sure that we can negotiate a fair salary that includes a lifetime of ham and hot dogs! I won’t budge on that you know!

CHUCK
Hey batter, batter!

This could be me right?

Friday, August 21, 2015

BRIDGE TROLL

HERE SHE IS WAITING TO POUNCE
I know that it has been said that I can be a little on the snarky side, but I must say my “friend” Dutchess takes the snark prize. She waits in the bathroom for an unsuspecting victim to stick their head in the doorway or to actually try to come into the bathroom and she goes off like a small dog bomb. It is not pretty. There is lots of snarling and growling and then one of the poor big dogs comes running down the hallway away from the hideous creature in the bathroom. Just between you and me, I am a little bit envious. She is like a Tasmanian devil and all of the big dogs are just a little bit afraid of catching her on a bad day. She could go off for no reason at all and leave a dust cloud of fur in her wake. At other times she appears docile and even friendly so it is a little bit confusing to say the least. One might compare her to a human friend who is bipolar and unable to control their moods. I know they have medications for people with that disorder, but I don’t know about dogs. If she got all evened out, we wouldn’t be able to call her the Bridge Troll anymore. I am not recommending any medications at this time. It is much more fun to watch the show without any restraint from the Troll.

CHUCK

Snark Envy

HERE SHE LOOKS TOTALLY HARMLESS, FRIENDLY EVEN?

Friday, August 14, 2015

USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE!

I AM TOO CUTE TO BE QUIET!
The other night, it was time for my treat ball so I howled and wailed and let everyone in the neighborhood know that it was time for me to do something special. My howl was loud enough to curl your toenails. It was a good one. My Mom kind of yelled at me and told me to “use my indoor voice.” What does this mean exactly? What is wrong with my outdoor voice? How do you separate the two? If I am going to howl, I feel it should be worth the energy I put into it and I am obviously trying to make a statement of some kind. I don’t think the other dogs have an indoor voice either. They bark like they are outside competing with the local coyotes. (talk about noisy). Anyway, my little feelings are kind of hurt. My Mom certainly doesn’t appreciate my howling gusto and I don’t appreciate her yelling at me. She should use her indoor voice too. That is only fair right?

CHUCK

Shhhhhhhhhh!
I NOT SAYING ANYTHING! IT IS A YAWN I SWEAR!

Friday, August 7, 2015

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Summer isn’t over yet right? I keep hearing rumors about kids going back to school and the days getting shorter, but I am not yet ready to turn in the beach towel. I should maybe speed up my enjoyment of the summer festivities and spend a little less time under the blanket and more on the lawn chair. I think that a good beer and some suntan lotion will be a good start, but then I will probably need some food because tanning makes you hungry. (Actually, everything makes me hungry) It is a good excuse though to order up some pool side snacks. I hope that none of my other dog friends notice my little summer snack camp because I am not sharing. I should be ok because most of them lay in the shade during the day. They are not ready for prime time tanning and I am not ready to be generous with my pool snacks! You know I don’t actually have a pool, but I am hoping that my Mom will go out and get me one now that I have mentioned it in my blog. I just need a little Chihuahua pool with a little diving board and a flotation device. I hope I get it soon since there isn’t much time! Hurry up and get out there yourselves, but get your own pool and your own snacks and know that you will not fit on my flotation device. Wow that sounded just a little bit snarky. I must have had too much sun!

CHUCK

Sun Salutations
LATHER ME UP AND OPEN MY BEER PLEASE!
(NOT REALLY IN THAT ORDER!)