CHUCK'S REVERSE RESOLUTIONS

LET'S CELEBRATE ALL OF MY RESOLUTIONS COMING TRUE.....AGAIN

Every time a new year comes around, I do the whole resolution list with all of the bold and inspired goals that I would like to achieve. I don’t feel like this has been very productive for me as I have never actually had any of my resolutions become a reality in my little world. This year I am actually going to list the things that I am NOT going to change. By doing this, I am ensuring a successful New Year’s plan because I know that I can stick to it.

Here we go... drum roll….ooh’s... aahhhhs...applause....murmers of approval

I am going to scarf down my food as fast as possible. (You never know when there might be a ham shortage)

I am going to be a jerk when my Mom tries to wake me from a sound sleep. (unless there is food involved)

I am going to howl whenever the UPS guy turns the corner onto my street. (whether he stops at my house or not)

I will steal the food of my fellow dogs whenever the opportunity presents itself. (when my Mom isn’t looking)

Do you see how great this is? I already do all of this stuff so 2017 is looking really good to me!

CHUCK

Happy New/Old/Familiar Year!

REINDEER JOB OPENING?

DOES MY NOSE LOOK RED TO YOU?

This Christmas I have decided to be a reindeer. I hear it is a fun job since you get to travel around with Santa and drop off stuff to kids. I might even be the red nosed one who gets to lead the pack and shines his little beacon nose to light the way for Santa’s sleigh. (did you notice that was a rhyme?)  Anyway, I think I would make a good reindeer as I am fast and I really like Christmas. What other criteria could there be? The hours don’t sound so great though with flying around the world. This would be like a 24 hour shift. When would I get to eat? Would I still be able to get my 22 hours of sleep? I am thinking no. I am not a math expert, but the 24 and the 22 just don’t match up.  I also want to be the recipient of the gifts not the one dropping the gifts off. OK, I am rethinking my role for this Christmas. I am going to be the Chihuahua of Cheer. In this job, I spread my joy of the season by indulging in all of the things (food) that Christmas has to offer. I am assuming there is a honey baked ham in there somewhere right?

CHUCK

Merry Christmas to all and to all a big bite of ham!

OK I AM NOT LOOKING. YOU CAN COME DOWN MY CHIMNEY NOW!

CHUCK'S HOLIDAY BAKE SHOP- YUM

I GOT ALL MY STUFF...NOW I NEED AN APRON AND A LITTLE CHEF HAT PLEASE!

I have decided to do a little baking for Christmas this year. I have never done this before, but I am confident that my love for food will lead me to success. I would like to hand out my little baked creations to my friends as a holiday gift, but I am concerned that my baked goods might not make it to their intended recipients. I am fairly sure that I will consume everything that I bake. It is going to smell good and be all hot and yummy coming out of the oven and then I will start to drool and I won’t be able to control myself. I am going to try out my baking skills anyway and I will at least share with you some of my ideas even if you don’t get to try them…..

Chuck’s Christmas Muffin Surprise

These muffins will have all kinds of tasty stuff in them starting with apples, bananas, some special spices and ham….YUM

Chuck’s Little Christmas Cookies

These cookies will be shaped like little Chihuahuas wearing Santa hats and they will taste like butter, honey and ham…..YUM

Chuck’s Ho Ho Ho Pumpkin Pie

This is not your usual pumpkin pie. This one has some special ingredients that will wow your senses! Of course there will be pumpkin then I will add some carrots, Pupperoni dog treats, chicken broth and ham…..DOUBLE YUM

I know you are drooling right now. Me too!

CHUCK

THIS WHOLE BAKING THING MIGHT TAKE TOO LONG...
I AM HUNGRY NOW!

Short Little Baker

CHUCK RE-WRITES CHRISTMAS

I NEED A LITTLE FIRE IN THE STOVE HERE PLEASE.....

My Dad was listening to some Christmas songs the other night and I with my little creative mind decided that these songs should be re-visited and perhaps re-written. They didn’t mention me at all and I think that needs to be changed. For example:

My ham roasting on an open fire

Jack Frost better stay away from my nose (or I will bite him)

Yuletide carrots being eaten by me

Chihuahua’s romping where the Pupperoni grows

Don’t you think this version is more dog friendly? I know that you don’t actually grow Pupperoni, but who cares?

How about another classic favorite?

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry

You better not pout I am telling you why

Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town.

He’s making a list and checking it twice

Loves to eat his ham with rice

Chuck yes Chuck is coming to town

My little dog Christmas Carol album should be coming out sometime next year, just as soon as I get a producer, agent and someone to sing my merry tunes. I would sing them but it sounds more like a howl though it is pretty festive when combined with bells and other instruments.

CHUCK

Christmas Carol King

BLACK FRIDAY RECOVERY UPDATE

People are crazy! Who would have known that Black Friday is such a big deal? Even for a popular Chihuahua like myself, I was still trampled and abused! Who would have known that there would be such a rush at the Ham Store? Who should always be first in line? That is right… ME! I practically own stock in the ham business. I am now recovering from my Black Friday adventure and I have to tell you that next year I will be ordering online. That way the nice delivery person will bring my ham right to my door. We will all bark like crazy until the truck pulls away. Then I will have to find a way to escape from my pen, get outside and get my ham box open. I think that will be easier than dealing with the crowds! Next year, just stay home. Don’t go out there!!!!!

CHUCK

Former Black Friday Ham Shopper

IS MY BAND-AID STILL ON?

 

SORT OF UN-THANKFUL...

I had it all planned out….. this year I would be dressing up in a turkey outfit for my annual Thanksgiving Day blog. But no, my plans were ruined because the pet store didn’t have any turkey outfits as they have already moved on to Christmas. Slow down a little. Thanksgiving isn’t even over yet and Christmas has already taken over. Let’s enjoy our turkey and pie before we welcome Santa down our chimneys. (Santa can only come down my chimney if he is packing ham on his little sleigh) Anyway, I had to drag out my pilgrim outfit which just isn’t the same. I really wanted to be a turkey and I hope that you will still be my friends even though I am wearing “Vintage Pilgrim” instead. I would also like to dress up as a pie, but I am afraid that someone might try to eat me. I guess I should be thankful for my blessings blah blah blah, but next year I will buy my turkey outfit around the 4^th of July which should be good timing right?

CHUCK

Not a turkey 

DO I  LOOK LIKE A TURKEY?
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS NO!

THE GREAT HUNTER

MY HUNTING SUCCESS!!!!

I have heard that hunting season is upon us and I am not sure what that means since I rarely have to hunt for my ham, but I decided that I should participate in this event because I think that I could be a fierce Chihuahua hunter. My first hunt involved me scavenging the closet for little pieces of dog food. That wasn’t very fun so I moved on to hunting the big dogs. They were not amused. I then decided to hunt for my Mom’s feet which turned out to be downright dangerous. I was feeling a little depressed about my hunting skills until my Mom brought out the floppy fox. Now this was something I could actually hunt, catch and shake around. I felt such a sense of power over the fox that I kept making it squeak as if it were begging for my mercy. Poor fox never had a chance. I got it just where I wanted it and then Cayenne stole it from me. I am now done with my hunting phase so I went and crawled back under my blanket where it is safe and I will just wait for my food to come to me willingly.

CHUCK

Great Stuffed Toy Hunter

SOMETIMES LIFE IS NOT VERY FAIR!

CHUCK FOR PRESIDENT

I COULD HARDLY STAND THE SUSPENSE!

DID I WIN ANYTHING?

I waited impatiently for the results to come in. My chance to be President was within reach, however the system was rigged by the anti- ham lobbyists who were worried about my love for ham. They knew that if I were in power, I would make ham the most important food in the country and I would be the ham enthusiast that they feared. Anyway, I guess I didn’t win anything. Maybe next time around I will get more Chihuahua votes. I think many of them had to stay home because they are little. The big dogs won’t vote for me because they see me as a threat and the middle size dogs aren’t interested in voting because they are too busy being stuck in the middle. These are just my political theories and they really aren’t based on anything but my love for ham. I know that my loyal blog followers would vote for me and that is all I care about…..oh and ham, I care about that too.

CHUCK 

Uninformed Political Chihuahua

BRAVE EXPLORER?

As most of you know, I eat my breakfast and dinner in the pantry. I like this seating arrangement because I have privacy while I eat. When I am done, I get to check out the other stuff in the pantry. Sometimes I find little morsels of dog biscuit crumbs (good find) other times I just climb on stuff and root around for the fun of it. I like to climb on the vacuum cleaner because it makes me feel taller and I like to freak out my Dad when he comes to retrieve me and he can’t find me. That is pretty funny. I am small so I hide really well and my Dad thinks that I have somehow escaped without him knowing. (he he he) Anyway, I just wanted to share my pantry adventures with you so that you know what a brat I am. Most of you know this, but just bringing the point home.

CHUCK

Pantry Pest

DO I LOOK TALLER TO YOU?

LAND SHARK?

SURELY THERE IS A TREAT FOR MAKING ME WEAR THIS!

This year I am taking a leap or maybe a swim with my Halloween costume. It is completely an opposite thing for me to be. I am a loving little sweet Chihuahua who would never be considered a “land shark”. For those of you who don’t know, a land shark is a frequent reference to little dogs that bite a lot or who are on the super snarky list of little dogs. This, of course, is nothing like me. It would be the same comparison if you dressed up a Rottweiler in a bunny costume, a Poodle in a military costume or a Great Dane in a mouse costume. You see where I am going here right? These costumes are for fun and are not any kind of indication of who we are as dogs. So this year as you are dressing up your little furry friends, remember you can stretch your imagination and put them in a costume that is just cute or fun, but doesn’t attach itself to your dog’s true personality!

CHUCK

GRRR.... I WILL BITE YOU!

Undercover Land Shark

Land Shark in Denial

Swims With The Land Sharks

YOU PICK!

THIS IS ME SNEAKING UP ON MY HAM!

VINDICATION

HERE I AM WITH MY MOM, IXCHEL AND KIMBER...
and my sisters who probably didn't need to be there!

I don’t know if vindication is the right word, but I have been cleared to attend fancy events! Some of you may remember that last year, my parents took Lacey to a fancy schmancy dinner and I was not included. This was emotionally painful for me as I felt abandoned and excluded. Well, this year I got to attend the Mill Dog Rescue Gala event and not to brag, but I did pretty well. There was a little bit of barking on my part when I was in my carrier, but that is to be expected right? I had to let everyone within a 10 mile radius know my whereabouts. Anyway, the whole dinner part was good. I didn’t jump on the table and try to eat everyone’s dinner though I would have tried if given the opportunity. I got to eat part of Janelle’s salad which I took nicely from her delicate fingers and I tried to help Ixchel with her dessert. I only tried to bite one lady who patted me on the head. (She didn’t have any ham at all) So overall I thought the evening was a success. I can’t wait for my next outing where a table run might be an option if my caretakers let their guard down. Please feel free to invite me to your special events. I think if nothing else I am for sure entertaining!

CHUCK

IXCHEL AND JANELLE LOOK STUNNING!
LOOK... I'M NOT BITING ANYONE IN THIS PICTURE! 

Hobnobber

IXCHEL AND HER HUSBAND DON AND MY FRIEND PETEY

THIS IS KIMBER WHO HAD TO HOLD CAYENNE ALL NIGHT LONG!
THIS PICTURE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TAKEN WHEN I WAS TRYING TO BITE THAT
LADY,  BUT THERE IS NO PROOF OF THAT!

SEASONS CHANGE

It is that time again….time to trade in my summer blanket for my cozy, fuzzy, warm winter blanket. I like this time of year when I am under my blanket, but not so much when I am out in the open. I get chilly you know, being my nearly naked and hair challenged self. I don’t mind wearing my little jackets and stuff, but they don’t cover everything, if you know what I mean. The exposed parts do not enjoy the chilly, brisk weather and I will have to start peeing in the house again when it gets too cold to go outside. I will have to be sneaky cause my Mom is on to me when I refuse to go outside. Anyway, I just wanted to have this little chat about my warm blanket and I hope you have a warm blanket too. This blog is pretty brief today, but I have to hurry because my fuzzy blanket just came out of the dryer and I don’t want to miss that!

CHUCK

Chilly Dog

SEE, LOOK - SOME OF ME IS EXPOSED!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

LOOK, I EVEN DRESSED UP FOR THE OCCASION!

It has been four wondrous years since I started writing my blog. Can you believe it? No one thought that I could come up with enough stuff to keep a blog going for this long! I will let you in on a little secret: The reason I always have material is because I am sort of a badly behaved dog so each week I can come up with some new bad stuff that I do and wahlah…. new blog. I know it isn’t always about me being bad, but it is usually the underlying theme and everyone knows this. I have a reputation and I am pretty sure it includes the following: spoiled, greedy food stealer, ham lover, under-blanket howler, rotten and naughty Chihuahua. I might have missed a few things, but you get the idea. Thank you for hanging out with me for the last four years and for not complaining about how much I talk about ham. I can tell you are my true friends because you let me be me. Thanks for that and I am accepting anniversary gifts in the form of gift cards and ham. (The gift card should be for the ham store) Thanks in advance for the thoughtful gift!

CHUCK

Blogger Extraordinaire!

FURRY JAIL BIRDS

My favorite time of the day is when my Mom lets us out of our little pen so we can play and I get my treat ball. During that time, the other dogs are blocked in another room. It is kind of like they are all in jail and I am free, free, free! So part of me wants to tease them a little bit because I can. I go right up to the gate and they bark at me and get all feisty and I stick my butt up in the air and wag. They even growl at me sometimes and I think they are trying to dominate me from inside their jail cell. So this little fantasy lasts about 25 minutes and then reality returns. The big dogs are out and I am not. It’s ok though cause then I am under my blanket and then I don’t want to be out anyway!

CHUCK

Dog Warden

DO YOU KIND OF FEEL SORRY FOR THEM?
I DON'T!

THE GREATEST GIFT EVER!

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about our new Doctors with a premonition that they would be giving me some ham since they are both so nice. Well, guess what? They brought me some ham with a note on top with MY name on it. I haven’t been this excited since the last time I ate through the dog food bag while my Mom wasn’t looking. I would like to eat all of the ham at one time, but my Mom is rationing it like we are stranded on an island and only have so much food before we run out. It is my ham. If I want to gorge on my gift, I think that should be my choice don’t you. Of course, I might get sick and end up in the ICU again…….Maybe we should ration my ham. Anyway, it is the best gift ever and it is good that my Mom will make me make my ham last longer. Please read that last sentence a few times. It really does make sense I promise!

CHUCK

Disciplined in Food Rationing

I AM SO EXCITED I CAN'T EVEN PUT MY EARS UP!

DOMESTIC DISPUTE

So I started this new thing that I do where I attack Lacey after we get our evening snacks. The purpose of this little show of bravado is to scare her away from any lingering snacks that she might have. I think this is a good tactic and sometimes I am rewarded with a little morsel. Now my Mom isn’t happy with this new behavior and has started using the squirt bottle on me. Can you believe that? She sprays me right in the face sometimes. This is not fair and I think that she needs to stay out of our little Chihuahua disputes. Lacey gets a little snarky when I do this so she is standing up for herself. Where is there harm in this new found spat? And the squirt bottle of all things. Why doesn’t she just yell like she usually does? I can easily ignore that, but the cold water hitting my delicate face is just too much. I will have to find a new way to sneak some extra snackage. After reading this blog, you could let my Mom know that the squirt bottle needs to be used on the big dogs only and not on little bitty helpless me!

CHUCK

Water Abused

HOLD THE SQUIRTER....I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING!

HAMLESS FOOTBALL

So the Broncos are off and running…..literally. They actually picked a new Quarter Back and it wasn’t me. I am just a little bit offended, but the truth is they probably couldn’t afford my ham habit. They probably looked at their budget and added up the dollars it would take to keep me happy in ham and they just couldn’t do it. I guess I will watch the games and cheer them on because there is a strong chance that I will get some potato chips while watching the game. I want to keep the door open for my place on the team just in case they have a change of heart and really want me. It would be bad if I didn’t know all of the team stats or have a handle on all of the players. Just think how cool it would be if you turned on your TV one day for the big game and saw ME in my little helmet and puffy pants. The ratings would probably be so high that all of the teams would want me ham and all!

CHUCK

Ham Fan

WAS THAT MY POTATO CHIP THAT YOU JUST ATE?

MOO ON OVER.......

I am rethinking my choice of being a rooster. Some new information has come my way and I am re-evaluating my job opportunities and trying to make the best choice for me. I was looking across the street from my house and I noticed all of the cows happily munching away all day long. They are eating all the time and I thought to myself “I could do that!” Just think…. No breakfast or dinner, just one never ending extended buffet. Of course I wouldn’t be able to just eat grass. I was thinking more along the lines of ham with some other stuff thrown in there. Do cows eat ham? If they don’t, they probably should. Does it really matter what I eat? I could still be a cow and just change the menu a little bit. I would also be able to roam free and not worry about being chased down by one of my parents. I did not see any of the cows running away from there owners. There would be lots of space, freedom and food. I think this might be the answer to my little Chihuahua prayers. It is nice to know that someone is listening. Watch out cows, I am taking over the pasture.

CHUCK

Cowabunga!

LOOK, WE COULD BE RELATED!

RITE OF PASSAGE

Many of you know that any new Doctors in the Veterinary Specialty Center are required to be interviewed by me. Yes, you might not know this little secret, but I am the one who chooses these fine Doctors to make sure they fit in with our already excellent staff! I ask them many questions……

• If I have an emergency situation, are you available exclusively for me?

•    Just hypothetically, if I were to eat something that I am not supposed to eat like a rock or something, are you able to fix me up?
•   What if I ingested too much food in one sitting, do you have something available that would make my tummy feel better?
•    If I were to run around like a crazy idiot and I got a sore leg because of it, do you have some magic treatment that will make my legs really strong for a Chihuahua?
•    If I were depressed, would you run to the store to buy me some ham?

 These are just a few of the questions on my list and each Doctor must answer those questions in a manner that pleases me and makes me confident of their ability to take care of me.

I am pleased to announce that Colorado Canine Orthopedics and Rehab has added two Doctors to our staff based on my recommendations. The cool thing is there are two of them with the same last name and they both really like me. The best part of their initiation process was the photo shoot! They got to get their picture taken with ME. This is the pinnacle for all of the Doctors in our building and it is an experience that they will never forget! Please welcome Dr. Mr and Mrs. DeTora. They come highly recommended by me!

CHUCK

Human Resource Director

And Question Asker

I AM FOR SURE GETTING SOME HAM FROM THESE TWO!!!!

JAIL BREAK?

The other day when I was sleeping, I had a dream about my big break out, my big escape from the pen, my launch to freedom and then I woke up. There was a key on the floor right next to my pen. Could it be the key to my freedom? If I could just reach it, I bet I could use it to escape from my confinement with the girls or should I say my torment from the girls? I get stepped on and pushed and shoved with their tiny little feet and tiny little claws that dig right in since I don’t have much fur you know. I have to share water with them and my blanket. I think that they should have their own pen and I could be in solitary confinement. I would be ok with that but I try to think of what I would do if I could reach the key and escape…… Hmmmmmm 

I could run around like a crazy dog, annoying the big dogs by sniffing their under parts. I could run through the big yard like a crazed Chihuahua looking for stuff to chase. I could jump on all of the furniture until I found the place that I like the best and then pee on it. This all sounds pretty fun, but if I contemplate this further I realize that I would probably get eaten by one of the big dogs if I annoy them too much. I would probably be smaller than anything I might find to chase and I might break a leg or something if I jump on the furniture. I guess my little pen is the safest place for me to be and my pen mates aren’t that bad right? Maybe I could give one of them the key and say “here you go… have a good time!”

CHUCK

Safety First

SEE, IT IS RIGHT THERE. 

DENIED?

WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO?

Some of you may remember this lovely picture of me and my friend Becky sharing some love and a cup of coffee. Well after last week’s blog, I sent my friend Becky an e-mail requesting the opportunity to try out my rooster skills at her house. I asked if she needed my resume as I was applying for a job of sorts. Here is the response that I received.

Thank you for your inquiry.  We are not taking applications at this time. As you can see, I copied this directly from her e-mail response. My feelings are a little bit hurt right now and my little ego has been squished like a bug. We are friends right? Don’t friends give their friends a job if they ask for one? I am not asking to balance her checkbook, repair vehicles or clean her kitchen (unless there is food on the floor, then I might be interested in that job too) I simply want a little bit of support in my new career endeavor. I think that Becky should reconsider her cold professional response to this little Chihuahua friend of hers. Many of you know her and you could certainly contact her on my behalf. Remind her of all of the good times that we have shared. Like the time I peed in her office right after she took me outside. That was fun right? Then there was the time that I escaped from my Mom and ran right to Becky’s office knowing there was some love there waiting for me. Not feeling much love right now I can tell you that. If I were in her office right now I might do something more elaborate than just peeing. Use your imagination…..

CHUCK

Revenge Pooper

SO THERE!

HERE COMES THE ROOSTER...

I have been thinking lately that I need to have another job besides my blog writing. If you have followed my blogs for long enough you will remember that I have frequently had some ideas about which jobs I might like. Unfortunately, most jobs get in the way of my most important job of sleeping and that is unacceptable. I have thought of an alternative job that has a very specific time frame and once completed the job is done for the day. I would like to have a rooster job. First thing in the morning, I get up and make some noise and go back to sleep. This is something that I kind of already do. This is a dream job for me and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. So you are asking yourself if I can actually make the real rooster noise and I am wondering why you would think such a stupid question. I can make the Chuck rooster noise which sounds a little bit like a howl, but if I add a doodle doo bark at the end, I think I can make it work. I am eager to get started on my new career and will be launching it tomorrow morning.  If you hear something other than a rooster tomorrow, you will know it is me with your morning wake up call! Oh wait, do I need to get rid of the real rooster in order to steal his job? I can’t have him trying to out-do me on the morning noise creation. Maybe I can send him to a farm far away where there are no Chihuahuas within a 50 mile radius (in case other Chihuahuas are interested in this career path as well) This is a good plan and no one even needs to know that a change has taken place.

CHUCK

Chuckadoodledoo

SHOULD I START YET? I MIGHT HAVE TO WORK ON MY TIMING A LITTLE BIT....

SLEEPING BEAUTY?

SO SHE IS A LITTLE BIT CUTE.....WHEN SHE IS ASLEEP

I think that I am pretty cute when I am sleeping though it would be hard for anyone to know since I am usually under my blanket. Somebody made a big deal the other day about how cute Lacey is when she sleeps and I beg to differ. She is not really sleeping, but waiting to step on me or pee on me when I am not prepared. How can that possibly be cute? Cute is me when I am sleeping or awake. Cute is me eating or drinking. (ok maybe the eating part isn’t super attractive, but surely when I am sitting and not doing something wrong) Anyway, I think that we have all determined that in the world of Chihuahuas that I am a cute guy. Lacey can be all white and fluffy and look like a little bunny rabbit, but I with my lack of hair and fluffiness am certainly cuter than she is. I am not going to ask for your responses because I know your answer and I appreciate your loyalty to me, the semi hairless dog with a big head who is really cute! Thanks for your silent vote. I hear you!

CHUCK

Occasional Obstructed Cuteness Representative

I AM CUTER THOUGH RIGHT? IF YOU COULD LIFT UP THE BLANKET, YOU WOULD SEE!

ROUND PEG – SQUARE HOLE?

The size of one’s brain is not determined by the size of one’s head. Example: my head is small, but my brain is huge. My big dog friends have way bigger heads than I do, but clearly their brain size is questionable. Examples: they do not sleep under a blanket. That is a no-brainer. They also get all worked up about food time before my Mom is even close to handing out the grub. I wait until it is a sure thing before I start the happy dance. None of them have even thought about writing their own blogs. This would be too much work and their paws are too big to delicately tap on the keyboard. They also are not selective in their barking choices. They bark at anything. I choose to bark at certain things that have meaning: a stranger in the house, the trash going out the door and the package deliveries. You know the big stuff. Another fine example is my friend Clayton who sticks his big ol’ dog head in the little dog door. He does not fit in the dog door, but he constantly wills his head and body to be small enough to get in the door. Not gonna happen big guy. Anyway, I hope all of my illustrations of smartness have led you to the same conclusion that I have reached. Little dogs have bigger brains than big dogs. This is probably written in an encyclopedia somewhere, but I am too small to pick up a big book. My brain however is big enough to understand what is in the big book. So there!

CHUCK

Brainstorm (different from a thunderstorm)

DOES MY HEAD LOOK BIG IN THIS PICTURE?

DO YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO SQUEEZE THROUGH? 

CHUCK EXPOSED!

Have you ever left your house and realized you had forgotten to put your clothes on? Have you ever been under-dressed for a fancy event? This is how I am feeling. It has been a little warm lately and I have had to come out from under my blanket and I feel completely exposed. I’ve even tried the half on half off blanket trick and I still feel completely naked. It is not intentional nakedness. I am just one hot Chihuahua. Is that a good thing? Anyway, as this summer heats up, you are going to be feeling exposed. If you like this feeling, there might be something wrong with you. Just sayin….. I am much more comfortable hiding under my blanket and you may probably feel better wearing a big parka or something, but it is too hot for that. Stay cool this summer and being a little bit naked is ok right?

CHUCK

Chihuahua Streaker, I mean sleeper…

STOP STARING AT MY NAKEDNESS PLEASE!

RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY FOOD?

MY FOLLOWING STATEMENTS DO NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS
AND OPINIONS OF ANYONE BUT ME. 

So we recently discovered that Lacey will not eat if it is raining. At first we thought it might be the thunder, but no. Just a few sprinkles on the skylight will keep her from enjoying her meal. She starts shaking and freaking out at the slightest chance of rain. You are thinking…. Poor Lacey, the little darling can’t eat. I am thinking….What kind of an idiot turns down food! There could be a thunderstorm, a vacuum cleaner, a distraction of any kind and I would still eat. There could be a tornado or an explosion of epic proportion and you couldn’t drag me away from my food. Some have tried and failed. You do not come between this Chihuahua and his food…..EVER! So what do you say to poor Lacey who misses her dinner every time a rain cloud passes overhead? I say “Move out of my way and I can take care of her food!” The truth is when it comes to food, I don’t have a pity bone in my body. I can’t even drum up a tiny scrap of it for her. Speaking of scraps, I eat leftovers and used food of any kind. Just so you know!

CHUCK

Food Donation Rec

WAS THAT A RAINDROP?
I AM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THAT FOOD!

epticle

LOTS IN COMMON...?

As the 4^th of July nears, I would like to take this opportunity to give you my comparison study of myself and fireworks. With much wisdom, I have put this little list together to show you all the ways that I am like a firework.

         

I am an excellent source of fun and entertainment, but can be dangerous if not handled properly!

My face inspires wonder and awe and lots of OOOOH’s and AHHHHH’s wherever I go!

I am fast and can go off without any notice, often scaring those around me!

I can get all of the dogs in the neighborhood to start barking incessantly!

Like fireworks, I often inspire food gatherings whenever I am present.

Loud noises come out of me often and that is all I am saying about that….

Please remember me this 4^th of July when you are grocery shopping for the little fireworks party that you are inviting me to, I do like ham and anything else that goes with it!

HERE I AM WITH MY LITTLE CHUCK SIZE PAPER PLATES
WAITING FOR THEM TO BE FULL OF FOOD....
AFTER THE FIREWORKS SHOW OF COURSE!

NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE.....

THIS IS JUST WRONG!!!

Dogs are not the best at keeping track of time, so I don’t know exactly when it was, but I told you about the girls pushing me onto the floor while I am sleeping. Since that blog, things have gotten even worse if you can imagine that. I am now being pushed out of my blanket and left sitting on the floor. I look up and my spot has been taken. This is extreme abuse and I don’t think that I should have to put up with it. Those girls don’t write a blog. They don’t have fans like I do. They don’t even like having their pictures taken. I am the photogenic, famous, charming, intelligent, and handsome Chihuahua who deserves the spoils in life. I can’t be treated like an outcast or a dog with no value. I am valuable don’t you think? I guess I am going to have to get a little mean and nasty with the sneaky girls. I think a little snarling and showing of teeth goes a long way and I don’t want anyone to think that I am a push over or a doggie doormat. The message here is “Don’t mess with Chuck!”  Please pass it around to your friends so that my fierce reputation is known world wide! Thank you for your support and let’s see if that blanket can stay on the bed with me underneath it eh?

CHUCK

Mean, Mean Chuckie!

THIS IS THE AERIAL VIEW OF MY MISTREATMENT!

 (If you say it twice it has more impact!)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

I am going to take this opportunity to talk about my Dad. He isn’t a dog you know, but my human dog Dad. I really don’t remember my dog dad so I can only discuss things that I know about. I am pretty sure that my Dad wasn’t a little dog fan before I came into his life. I eavesdrop on my parents sometimes and over the years I have heard things that my Dad has said like “Who would have thought I would love the Chihuahuas so much.” or “Chuck is the best dog in the whole world!” OK so I didn’t really overhear the second one, but I bet he thinks that. My Dad is pretty cool and he will come and cover me up when I am exposed. You know when my blanket slips off of me and stuff like that. He feeds me and gives me head scratches and enjoys my company during the World Cup. I know he is a busy guy, but he always talks to me in a kind loving voice. Well most of the time, but his voice isn’t quite as kind when I escape and run out the back door and won’t come back when he calls, but that doesn’t happen often. Besides he is only doing that for show so that the other dogs don’t know that I am his favorite. I am pretty sure that is the only reason he would ever yell at me. Anyway, for Father’s Day, don’t escape and come when your Dad calls you and you should have a pleasant day that is free of any yelling! Whatever you do, don’t bite your Dad on this most special of days. That won’t go over well at all.

CHUCK

Daddy’s boy!

HERE I AM WITH MY DAD....I MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE AGAIN, I AM NOT SURE?

FRUIT FRENZY

Summer is special in so many ways. Some of you are just excited that it isn’t snowing! (I know, me too) Others are thrilled to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Many dogs get to go on more hikes, go swimming or just enjoy fun outdoor dog stuff. I must say that all of theses things are appealing to me and they get me a little bit excited too, but the most important thing about summer to this Chihuahua is the over abundance of fruit. Yes, I said fruit. Many of you remember that when I was a baby, someone said I looked like a fruit bat! I know it is a horrible thing to say to a little dog who isn’t very confident and who maybe has a huge head, but anyway it was out there and I haven’t ever gotten over it. However this year, as summer approaches, I think I might be ok being a fruit bat. It means that I get unlimited fruit and I can fly! Those are good things right? So now that I have overcome my puppy hood issues, I am ready to dig into some watermelon! Just open that baby up and I will make my own little fruit salad!

CHUCK

Flying Fruit Bat

IT'S THE EARS RIGHT?

BABY FRUIT BAT! LOOKING FOR FRUIT.....

NAIL BITER

I know you are thinking that since the weather is warmer “all should be good in Chuck’s world.” Well that isn’t the way that things go sometimes. Even though the weather is warmer, I still make sure that I am snuggled up in my blanket. You see it isn’t always about warmth. Sometimes life makes you need an emotional blanket just to keep the stress at bay. You are now thinking “what does Chuck have to be stressed about?” Excellent question and I will share with you my high drama stress story of the week. My Mom has this stupid idea that I need my nails clipped. I think they are just fine the way they are. If they get too long I just look more like a hairless cat. I am ok with that if I can avoid having anyone touch my sensitive toes. If you remember, the last time my Mom did my nails, I bit her in the chin. Well I will never hear the end of that. I guess it left a mark and you know that is never good. It was a big mistake I admit, but I can’t be blamed for any violent behavior if you are touching my toes! This time she put that thing around my nose and my biter didn’t work anymore. Who invented this thing anyway? I couldn’t get it off so I just squealed as much as possible while she was abusing my toes. I also thrashed around a lot just for effect. So you see, I then needed to hide under my blanket for 2 or 3 days just so I could recover from the horrible experience. So I am encouraging you as I have in the past to climb under your blanket when someone tries to cut your toenails or anything else stressful for that matter. It works no matter what your issue might be. Maybe I should get some little tennis shoes so that my Mom can’t see my toenails. Do they make Nikes in Chuck sizes?

CHUCK

Blanket of Protection

I DON'T EVEN LOOK STRESSED. ONCE UNDER MY BLANKET, ALL IS GOOD!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

Another holiday is here that marks the beginning of summer. Summer in the hungry Chihuahua world equates to barbeques and frequent gatherings of food in outdoor venues. This means that stuff falls on the ground and I am required to snatch it up before any birds, mice or any other pesky food stealers try to get it.  Memorial Day is a special holiday for many reasons, but anyone who knows me well knows that I am not focused on the meaning of the holiday. My interest is strictly limited to the celebration of the holiday. Please be ready to take notes as I give you a list of things that you will need to purchase in order to enjoy the holiday properly. First on my list is HAM. There can be no celebration without it. Second - potato chips. these are like ham’s friends that like to be included in any ham presentation. Third is beer. Beer is needed to wash down the ham and chips. Fourth is a table that sits very low to the ground. This will allow your furry home dwellers to peruse the buffet when you aren’t looking. Fifth is friends and family to share all of the above. (I just added #5 to make myself sound like I care) I hope that you enjoy the entire holiday weekend. Please don’t forget the list and while you are at the grocery story, could you pick me up some ham and anything else you think I might need.

Thank you.

CHUCK

HCB Promotions

(ham, chips and beer)

WAS MUSTARD ON MY LIST?