CONSPIRACY THEORIES

THIS PICTURE BY ITSELF IS NOT INCRIMINATING, BUT LOOK AT THE NEXT ONE......

Sometimes when I am sleeping, my blanket scoots down and I end up on the floor. How could that possibly happen? I have this super comfy bed and I deserve the best in sleeping arrangements, but as long as I am under my blanket, it seems that I am ok sleeping on the hard floor. Once I am on the floor, the girls lay on top of me. I guess that is their idea of a comfy bed. This sleeping arrangement is not to my liking. I get a little bit snarky and tell them to GET OFF ME (unless it is cold outside then the annoying girls keep me warm) Anyway, I think that I need a flatter bed so that I don’t slide off. Sleeping on the floor just isn’t right. Maybe I could have a bed all to myself and the slippage won’t happen. Maybe the girls are the ones who are actually pushing me off the bed while I am sleeping. These are my theories, but I have no proof. Maybe I could set up a little video surveillance and see what is really going on. Or maybe not….what if the video just shows Lacey licking herself and Cayenne barfing or something. YUK- Some things are better if you just leave them alone. I kind of like the floor.

CHUCK

Sleep Detective

AHAAAA.....THAT LOOKS PRETTY SUSPICIOUS TO ME!

CORRECTION OF PREVIOUS BLOG...

I might have made a mistake when I was so excited about spring and the fun things that come with it. If I was talking about blowing snow and hideous weather, I would have been right, but I was instead referring to flowers, green grass and baby bunnies. None of that has happened yet and I am a little bit disappointed. Last weekend, I huddled under my blanket while both the girls slept right on top of me. I didn’t even snark at them because they were keeping me warm. It is like my very own electric blanket that occasionally coughs, snorts or sneezes. I am a little depressed by the snow that keeps showing up and the wind that comes with it. I try to go outside, but my little under parts get way to close to that cold wet snow and I have no choice but to run inside, pee in the kitchen and blame it on Lacey. It isn’t my fault. If the weather were nicer, I would be a good dog. So I am done with spring. I now want summer and I want it now.

CHUCK

Summer Lovin’

SEE, I AM READY FOR THE SUNSHINE AND MAYBE A COLD LITTLE BEER!

TAX TIME?

TO ANYONE WHO TRIES TO TAKE MY MONEY.......

What does this mean? Are there any taxes little dogs like me must pay and if so how would I know about them. Am I going to be audited or shamed into showing my financial history to some stranger? Oh wait… I don’t have a financial history. Even if I did, I don’t think I want someone poking around in my business. Do I get to deduct ham as a medical expense since it is crucial to my health and well being? Maybe I could deduct all of the silly outfits my Mom makes me wear. These are the same outfits that my Dad wishes I wouldn’t wear. Do I already pay taxes and if so, where do I get the money? Do Chihuahuas even need money? If I did have some money, I think I would buy myself a little house where I am the only dog. Is that a write off as a mental health deduction? I think that I am figuring out this tax thing. If I don’t have any money, I can’t pay taxes. If I do have money, I won’t tell anyone about it! If the stranger comes to audit me, I will know that one of you squealed on me!

CHUCK

Small Tax Man

MAYBE YOU CAN HAVE MY MONEY, IT DOESN'T TASTE VERY GOOD.
DOES IT COME IN HAM FLAVOR?

SPRING IS HERE!

There are so many reasons that I am excited about spring. Everyone gets friskier in the animal world. I am not sure it is the same for people, but we furry critters get all spunky and wild when the weather starts to change. Take me for instance: I am now sleeping 22 hours instead of my normal 23. I wake up a little bit more cheerful. I only growl at my Mom once instead of twice. I feel a renewed sense of playfulness with my fellow dog mates. I want to run underneath the big dogs and see if they notice me. This could be a possible death wish, but I see it more as spring motivated play. I also want to eat more lettuce, carrots and cool summer foods. I do still want these foods wrapped in ham or covered in ham or a ham appetizer before I eat them, but I am ready to add some variety to my food. These are just a few examples of Chihuahua spring fever. What signs are you seeing? Do you want to play more with your friends and family? Do you see yourself retrieving a ball just because you can? If you think about it, I am sure that you can come up with some people spring friskiness and spread it around to everyone you know. Pretty soon everyone will have a craving for a carrot wrapped in ham. You just wait and see!

CHUCK

Spring Loaded

HERE I AM HAVING DISCARDED MY WINTER COAT
FOR MY MORE SPORTY SPRING JACKET!

APRIL 1ST......

THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU TRY
TO STEAL MY HAM!

I want to discuss my plans with you and I know that you will be supportive. I am thinking of going to rehab to get off of my ham addiction. I must be stronger than the pork that calls to me and begs me to eat it. I know that I have a problem. I am admitting that I have a problem which is half the battle. I may switch to something a little less potent, like turkey or maybe even roast beef, but the ham has to go. It invades my dreams and when I am awake, I smell it even when it is not around. I am super snarky if anyone even looks at my ham and I will defend it with my ferocious bite and my big little dog attitude. OK so lots of the above stuff is true, but some of it not so much. I am not giving up my ham. This is where I say “April Fools!” You didn’t believe me anyway right?

CHUCK

The Fool For Ham!

Happy Birthday to Dr. Riecks:

I have known him since I was a little baby Chihuahua with a big head. (It took a little while for the rest of my body to catch up.) I have never tried to bite Dr. Riecks because I like him and I don’t say that about a lot of people you know. I am pretty picky when it comes to people and surgeons who might want to do some surgery on me when I have eaten something I am not supposed to. He is a great surgeon. I just don’t want any more of that stuff done on me. I will let some other dog experience his great skills and enjoy his dog loving attitude. I want to enjoy him while he gives me a snack or a pat on the head. He is also responsible for me not being fat. Yes it is true. There was a time when I was a little on the porky for a small dog side and he inspired my little weight loss plan that has been successful for me for a few years now. I personally would like to eat more food whenever I want, but I know that I am a role model to other short dogs and I need to do my part. He hasn’t forbidden me from eating ham so we can still be the best of friends. I hope he has a wonderful birthday and you should buy me lots of presents for his birthday. Did I say ME, I meant him. Really, I did.

 CHUCK

WE LOVE DR. RIECKS 

 Director of Celebration