JOB DUTIES

I know that everyone is wondering what my day consists of besides sleeping and eating. I think some of you have possibly misjudged my level of responsibilities. So in this blog, I plan on setting the record straight so that I never have to hear these phrases again….. He’s lazy…..Wow he likes to sleep!...Does he ever come out from under that blanket?…..I have never seen a little dog eat so fast!…….I have never seen a little dog eat so much!  Ok, so you get the idea. It is these little comments that have damaged my reputation as a hard working Chihuahua. I have compiled a list of my daily activities and I think that you will see that I am a TYPE A – GO GETTER when it comes to working.

Early morning- I wake up to the obnoxious sound of big dogs barking- I then bark myself to say “Shut up big dogs, I am trying to sleep!”  (A little effort involved in that scenario)

I go outside where I pee for a solid 5 minutes without a break!

I am then taken to my pen where I have to move the blanket around in order to crawl underneath it without any of my little body sticking out. This involves a lot of turning, digging and other creative rotational moves.

I am again disrupted from my sleep when the trash has to go out. I have to bark and run my “fence line” until the trash bag has disappeared. I then have to repeat the previous step with the whole blanket thing.

HERE I AM IN MY PRE- TRASH BARK PREPARATION

Breakfast time! Yeah! (I am required to run from my pen to the closet)

I then repeat my blanket move again.

Non disclosed use of time

Dinner time! Yeah! (see above)

Treat ball time- I have to push my treat ball around the house and WAIT for the little nuggets to fall out. It takes FOREVER!

I then add on to my blanket routine by REALLY trying to dig a small hole in my bed.

Bed time- I am taken to my sleeping area with the other small dogs and I am required to LEAP into my bag before I get my bed time treat!

 Once a week, I slave over the keyboard writing my blog!

THIS IS AN UNDER THE BLANKET SURVEILLANCE  TECHNIQUE......

Do you see what I mean? Just one day is a crazy amount of work for a little dog! I hope that you SQUASH those rumors that you have heard and defend me now that you know the truth!!!

CHUCK

HERE I AM GETTING READY FOR THE BIG DIG!

Workaholic

THIS RIGHT HERE IS WORK!

ACCIDENTAL NOISES....

Do you ever make a little noise that you weren’t planning on making and you get embarrassed and hope that no one notices that it was you? I know. Me too. It is the accidental bark. Try as I might, it is out of my control. This usually occurs late at night when my Dad is asleep. My Mom sequesters the big dogs and lets us little dogs come out to play. This is also the time that I get my treat ball so I am a little bit excited. We know we are supposed to be quiet, but the barks just sneak out of my mouth without me even knowing. Cayenne is the worst. She lets out a bunch of unplanned barks and then my Mom gets out the squirt bottle. She then lets out a series of noises that no one would make on purpose. There are squeaks and yips and other high pitched annoyances that hurt my sensitive ears. Sometimes I don’t hear her noises as I am making some of my own. I do seem a little bit more in control with the impending threat of the squirt bottle. I clamp my little mouth closed and hope that nothing escapes. I know there is no real purpose to this blog. I just want you to know that it happens to everyone and you shouldn’t be embarrassed. Just get yourself a squirt bottle and you won’t have anymore unwelcome noises!

CHUCK

Soundproof

NO  NEED FOR THAT SQUIRT BOTTLE- THERE ARE NO NOISES HERE!
LOOK, I AM TOTALLY QUIET!

HOLIDAY CELEBRATION OF SLEEP

Another holiday makes its way into my life. This one is a little bit confusing. Are we celebrating labor? If so, what kind of labor is it? Why do some people have to work on Labor Day and others get to have barbecues and drink special stuff that makes them act silly? I for one am always in favor of holidays, but I want to make sure that I am on the barbecue end of the deal and not the one where I have to labor on Labor Day. It is hard work for me just climbing out of my furry bag every morning. I take a quick pee and I am ready for another nap under my blanket. Maybe we could have a holiday that celebrates sleeping. I think it would be the most popular holiday ever! Who doesn’t like sleep? I like sleep almost as much as I like ham and that is saying a lot! We could call it “Chuck’s Celebration of Napping” or “Chuck’s Special Sleep Day”. We could send out little fliers that say “Don’t go to work today! Nap with Chuck!” I’m telling you, this would be a big hit. Especially with all the poor people who got stuck working on Labor Day!

PLEASE DON'T BOTHER ME WHILE I AM WORKING!

Chuck

Sleep Enthusiast

Sleep Expert

Sleep Diplomat

All of the above…..

BASEBALL, HOTDOGS AND CHUCK

I think someone important has been reading my blogs and listening to my wise suggestions. In the past I have discussed having a sports team named after me. Well we are getting closer. I just discovered that there is a minor league baseball team called the El Paso Chihuahuas. I just know that this is all my doing. I am the spokesdog for my other little hairy Mexican friends and now we have our own team! I am a little bit surprised that I was not asked to be the mascot or the owner or the ball retrieval dog. I am sure this is just an oversight on their part so I will be expecting a call any day now. Maybe they actually want me to play on the team. I will have to think about that. I can’t hurt my little paws playing baseball and risk not being able to write my blog. I think I will only accept an upper management or celebrity position. I am pretty sure that we can negotiate a fair salary that includes a lifetime of ham and hot dogs! I won’t budge on that you know!

CHUCK

Hey batter, batter!

This could be me right?

BRIDGE TROLL

HERE SHE IS WAITING TO POUNCE

I know that it has been said that I can be a little on the snarky side, but I must say my “friend” Dutchess takes the snark prize. She waits in the bathroom for an unsuspecting victim to stick their head in the doorway or to actually try to come into the bathroom and she goes off like a small dog bomb. It is not pretty. There is lots of snarling and growling and then one of the poor big dogs comes running down the hallway away from the hideous creature in the bathroom. Just between you and me, I am a little bit envious. She is like a Tasmanian devil and all of the big dogs are just a little bit afraid of catching her on a bad day. She could go off for no reason at all and leave a dust cloud of fur in her wake. At other times she appears docile and even friendly so it is a little bit confusing to say the least. One might compare her to a human friend who is bipolar and unable to control their moods. I know they have medications for people with that disorder, but I don’t know about dogs. If she got all evened out, we wouldn’t be able to call her the Bridge Troll anymore. I am not recommending any medications at this time. It is much more fun to watch the show without any restraint from the Troll.

CHUCK

Snark Envy

HERE SHE LOOKS TOTALLY HARMLESS, FRIENDLY EVEN?

USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE!

I AM TOO CUTE TO BE QUIET!

The other night, it was time for my treat ball so I howled and wailed and let everyone in the neighborhood know that it was time for me to do something special. My howl was loud enough to curl your toenails. It was a good one. My Mom kind of yelled at me and told me to “use my indoor voice.” What does this mean exactly? What is wrong with my outdoor voice? How do you separate the two? If I am going to howl, I feel it should be worth the energy I put into it and I am obviously trying to make a statement of some kind. I don’t think the other dogs have an indoor voice either. They bark like they are outside competing with the local coyotes. (talk about noisy). Anyway, my little feelings are kind of hurt. My Mom certainly doesn’t appreciate my howling gusto and I don’t appreciate her yelling at me. She should use her indoor voice too. That is only fair right?

CHUCK

Shhhhhhhhhh!

I NOT SAYING ANYTHING! IT IS A YAWN I SWEAR!

THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Summer isn’t over yet right? I keep hearing rumors about kids going back to school and the days getting shorter, but I am not yet ready to turn in the beach towel. I should maybe speed up my enjoyment of the summer festivities and spend a little less time under the blanket and more on the lawn chair. I think that a good beer and some suntan lotion will be a good start, but then I will probably need some food because tanning makes you hungry. (Actually, everything makes me hungry) It is a good excuse though to order up some pool side snacks. I hope that none of my other dog friends notice my little summer snack camp because I am not sharing. I should be ok because most of them lay in the shade during the day. They are not ready for prime time tanning and I am not ready to be generous with my pool snacks! You know I don’t actually have a pool, but I am hoping that my Mom will go out and get me one now that I have mentioned it in my blog. I just need a little Chihuahua pool with a little diving board and a flotation device. I hope I get it soon since there isn’t much time! Hurry up and get out there yourselves, but get your own pool and your own snacks and know that you will not fit on my flotation device. Wow that sounded just a little bit snarky. I must have had too much sun!

CHUCK

Sun Salutations

LATHER ME UP AND OPEN MY BEER PLEASE!
(NOT REALLY IN THAT ORDER!)